The Gift of Kindness
The Third Sunday in Lent
Reflection By Jana Troutman-Miller
Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.
- Barbara De Angelis
Many years ago, while visiting friends in Europe, I experienced one of the most lovely moments of compassion extended to me from a stranger. I had been in Prague several days and was leaving by train to go on to Germany. It was my birthday. At the station, sensing that I was feeling sad about saying goodbye and being alone for the next ten hours on the train, my friends gave me tender hugs and three roses to keep me company—wonderful acts of both kindness and compassion.
Along the way, an older gentleman came on board with a large bundle of at least six-dozen long-stemmed roses. He gently placed the flowers overhead, sat down across from me, and began to chat with the man next to him. After a while he stood up, took down the roses, and gave one to the other man. Then he looked over at me and said something to me in German. When I told him that I didn’t understand, he motioned to my three roses with a questioning look. I realized then what he was asking and I told him that it was my birthday and that my friends gave these to me to help keep me company. He smiled, then carefully selected one of his roses and presented it to me. Deeply moved by his kind, compassionate gesture, I thanked him over and over as I fought back tears. Soon we were at our next stop where the man got off. As he was leaving he told me that he loves being able to do kind things for people to make them happy.
That seemingly small gesture meant so much to me. Without even realizing it until that moment, receiving a rose from this stranger was just what I needed. I also realized that he too had a need met that day. His need was to show kindness and compassion, and that need was met when he gave me the rose and I received it with a heart overflowing with gratitude.
While we all have a desire to give and receive compassion, all too often we don’t allow others to offer us that gift, especially in those moments when we don’t feel worthy to receive someone’s compassion. And so we say some version of, “No, that’s okay, you keep your rose.” When that happens, both of us are deprived of the healing power of kindness and compassion.
But when we allow ourselves to receive kindness and compassion from others, it connects us in deep and profound ways. I still think of this man twenty years later and each time I do, I offer a prayer of gratitude for him. Through this experience I continue to be reminded to look for those moments when God invites me to be with another in a time of need, or allowing them to be present for me in my time of need. This man’s simple act of compassionate kindness has continued to offer me the healing gift of happiness for many years, and I pray it continues to offer that healing gift to him, as well.