Close to the Heart
Holy Saturday
Reflection By Jan Kwiatkowski
On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb.
- Luke 24:1 (NIV)
Holding my three-month-old grandson close to my heart on the day we buried my mother, I spoke with the Catholic priest who was to officiate at her service. He had an unexpected conflict after the funeral mass, and we agreed I would lead the graveside burial service for her. My prayer book was always in the car in case of pastoral emergencies. The funeral directors found me a lovely pine branch and a dish to hold the water I would bless for us to use to bless the casket that held my mother’s body before it was lowered and covered with dirt.
I cannot begin to describe how much it meant to preside over her burial, to be able to bury my mother while surrounded by the people who loved her most. Afterwards, I stayed at her graveside. I’m one of those who needs to stand present and see hard things through to the end. I needed to see the casket lowered into the grave and the men cover it with the hard clay soil. My sister, sister-in-law, and several nieces saw me standing there and came back to stand with me, to bear witness.
I’m tearing up as I write this. We’d been through a lot in the preceding few months leading up to this moment. Important women standing with me on that difficult day was an indescribably important act of loving compassion. I needed them to be with me as much as they must have needed to come back and stand with me.
I’ll often talk with clients who speak the Christian language about how we live out Holy Week many times in our lives. The Holy Week story provides a way for us to think, pray, and act through difficult times in our lives. The story helps us to understand that not only do we experience physical deaths with the promise of resurrection, we also experience countless ways we die to ourselves and experience resurrection before we die. For example, when we leave a job or relationship and over time find renewed hope and contentment; move to a strange city and learn to make it home; set boundaries when we, or those we love, experience abuse and recover our sense of well-being; and the healing we experience when we make needed amends. What might be some examples of this in your own life?
We now approach the end of our shared journey of what it means to practice compassion with all our hearts, souls, strength, and mind. Our lives, and the world around us, will always provide opportunities to stand compassionately with others while allowing others to stand with us. If you need inspiration for continuing your practice of compassion, I invite you to hold the image of the women at the tomb close to your heart, at least as close as I held my grandson. Perhaps closer.