Help Yourself? Help Others.
The Fourth Sunday in Lent
Reflection By Chris Yaw
Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment so that those who do not see may see, and those who do see may become blind.”
- John 9:39
A research study was recently done to help people with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Researchers studied 132 patients with MS, splitting them into two groups. Both learned coping skills. Group #1 learned from respected experts in the field, while Group #2 learned from their peers: five fellow MS patients who had shown an interest in helping fellow sufferers and had undergone special training. The goal was to see which group fared better.
The surprise finding was that neither group fared as well as did the five MS sufferers who had been trained to offer support to Group #2. Researchers noted dramatic changes in how they viewed themselves and their lives. Depression, self-confidence, and self-esteem improved markedly. The study concluded that giving support improved health more than receiving it, with one researcher concluding, “These people had undergone a spiritual transformation that gave them a refreshed view of who they were.”
The idea that compassionately caring for others brings healing for care- givers is as old as it is neglected. When you and I hurt we turn inward, our attention focuses on ourselves, and we don’t naturally think that actively showing compassion to others might benefit us. But it does.
In John 9 we witness an iconic healing scenario, when Jesus has compassion on a blind man, heals him, and causes the upholders of the religious institution great consternation. They simply cannot make sense of Jesus and what he’s trying to do. We see these religious folks choosing pride over humility, prestige over service, and judgment over compassion.
In the introduction to the book, Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life, co-author Henri Nouwen points out that compassion comes from two Latin words, which together mean to suffer with. Jesus is pointing out that those who were in a position to suffer with, but chose not to, become subject to negative consequences. Being blind to compassion keeps us from reaping compassion’s rewards, which are none other than healing, restoration, and reconciliation.
In Compassion, Nouwen goes on to write: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”
So, we might ask ...
In what ways are we avoiding compassion, and thus missing out on its benefits?
How are we choosing our own comfort, convenience, and safety over the “suffering with” of others?
How might we better develop compassion in ourselves?
I’d like to share a daily affirmation that helps me stay compassionately present: Have gratitude for the past, compassion for the present, and faith for the future. May it be so.