Where the Grass is Always Greener
Healing and Wholeness in Relationships
Reflection By Scott Stoner
Attention is the beginning of devotion.
- Mary Oliver
Social media posts are often the highlight reels of people’s lives, and so it can be easy to envy the carefully curated lives of others. Our real lives and relationships may not feel as favorable as the ones we see online. We may end up feeling jealous as we compare the idealized outside lives of others to our own inside life. There is an old saying that captures this well: “The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.”
A few years ago, I heard a new version of this saying that I believe is ultimately much more helpful: “The grass is greener where we water it.” This is a masterful way of inviting us to redirect the wasteful energy of envy, to focus instead on what we can do to water growth in our own lives and in our relationships.
In all dimensions of well-being, what we pay attention to is what will grow. As any gardener knows, watering, weeding, and mulching with good nutrients create growth. The growth may take time, and it may not always be the exact growth we had planned or expected. However, with time, patience, and perseverance, new growth will appear.
Making It Personal: Pause and reflect on the influence, if any, that social media has on your relationships. What do you think of the quote, “The grass is greener where you water it?” As we conclude this week’s focus on relationships, is there a particular relationship in your life that you feel called to continue to water?