Simplicity, Love, and Delight

This week I would like to expand on something I wrote for our Advent booklet for this year. It continues with last week's thee of focusing on Practicing Simplicity.I have always loved the song, Simple Gifts. This beautiful song speaks of the importance of turning toward the presence of the Divine in our life, and how when we do that, we will experience a true sense of simplicity and freedom.

Simple Gifts was written by Joseph Brackett who was a member of the Shaker community, a Christian movement that flourished in the 19th century in the United States. There are many wonderful versions of the song available, including a recording by Yo Yo Ma and Alison Krauss, which I particularly like. You may want to find a copy of the song online to listen to as you reflect on practicing simplicity

The first two lines of Simple Gifts are:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free, 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be.

As we reflect on these two lines during this holiday season one of the first things that stands out is the idea that simplicity is a gift. The ability to live simply and freely is both something that we can intentionally choose and it is also a gift that God is offering to us. When we allow ourselves to receive this gift, and then practice living simply and freely, we will find that in those moments, we can truly "come down where we ought to be."

Coming down where we "ought to be" can mean many things. It can refer to our work, where we live, being in right relationship with someone we care about, or being at peace with a major decision.

The next two lines in Simple Gifts are:

And when we find ourselves in the place just right, Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

These lines remind us that one of the ways we will know when we are in the place "just right," is when we will feel a sense of "love and delight." This place "just right" is, of course, not a description of a physical location, but rather a description of the inner state of our souls. When we are in the right place spiritually, we will manifest the spiritual fruits of love and delight.

Take a moment and think about an important relationship in your life. It is only natural that you feel a variety of feelings toward this person. Think of a time when you felt frustration and irritation toward this person. What was happening at that time? Did those feelings come on slowly or quickly?  How long did they last?

Now think of a time when you were experiencing feelings of love and delight toward this same person. How did those feelings emerge? How long did they last? What was the difference between when you experienced frustration and irritation and when you experienced love and delight? Was the difference due to what the other person was doing or saying, or was the difference due to your internal spiritual and emotional state? Or was it a combination of both?

As the excitement and stress builds as we get closer to Christmas, we will be wise to intentionally choose to practice simplicity, as it most likely will not just happen on its own. We also will be wise to intentionally choose to relate to others with love and delight, especially as we gather with friends and loved ones that we may only see during the holidays. To be intentional in this way is to practice simplicity not just for ourselves, but is also a way to offer a simple and much needed gift to others.

Focusing On One Thing At A Time

This time of year many Christians around the world observe the season of Advent. This season provides a counter cultural opportunity for observers to focus on and prepare for the spiritual significance of Christmas. Even if you don't observe this season of Advent, it is still a wonderful opportunity to slow down and focus your attention on what matters most in your life. Living Compass produces a small booklet for Advent each year that includes daily reflections to help readers with their spiritual focusing. The theme for this year's booklet is "Practicing Simplicity with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind."  We have invited guest writers each week to share their wisdom and so in this week's column I am sharing the wise words of our guest writer The Rev. Dr. Carol Petty, Canon for Wellness from the Episcopal Diocese of Texas. Her reflection appears below, followed by a few of my own thoughts that were inspired by her writing.

Recently I made a commitment to simplicity. My goal: focus on one thing at a time. I wish I could say it's my daily practice, but in reality, it's my daily challenge.

To encourage myself, I taped slips of paper with the words one thing at a time to the frames of my computer monitors at work and at home. I need these reminders, as I am constantly tempted by the lure of multi-tasking. Surely I can accomplish more/faster/better if I do several things at once! I tell myself (I lie!) that I can type a coherent e-mail to one person while carrying on a productive phone conversation with someone else.

Ultimately I realize that the quality of both tasks suffers from my divided attention. More importantly, the relationships with the people on the other end of those tasks have also suffered. The reality is that multi-tasking never lives up to its promise. Those who do it end up, as I do, distracted and frustrated, probably accomplishing less-certainly less well-than if they'd just done one thing at a time.

Multi-tasking is a hallmark of our culture. Smart phones invite 24-hour access to interactive news, work-related communications, and social media posts. In a matter of seconds we can learn about-and comment on-earthquakes in Japan, gun violence in America, local sporting events, and our neighbor's recently posted cat video!

It's no wonder that our "monkey minds" resist efforts to focus, instead staying busy zipping from one thing to another, preventing us from being fully present to the task-or the person-at hand. Whether it is a task at work, or a conversation with a family member, the person or task before us should be the most important thing in this moment. It deserves our full attention.

If I scan my newsfeed while talking to my spouse, how does that impact our relationship? If I spend my day off, supposedly my day to rest, working on a mobile device, how am I shortchanging my own well-being?

Each of us has been given the gift of the present moment so that we might bring our full attention to our own lives, to our relationships, and our work and play. We don't know what will come tomorrow, but we do have right now. I made this particular commitment to simplicity because I don't want to squander God's gift of now.

I am choosing to make every effort to bring my full attention to whatever or whoever is in front of me in the moment. I choose to focus on one thing at a time. As we begin this season of Advent today, I invite you to join me in this challenge.     Written by Rev. Carol Petty

Carol's invitation and challenge to focus on one thing at a time reminds me of a story about a student who asked a wise and enlightened Buddhist monk how becoming fully enlightened changes a person. The monk answered by saying, "Before I was enlightened I chopped wood and carried water." The student listened intently and then asked what the monk did after attaining enlightenment. After pausing for a moment, the monk said, "Now that I have achieved enlightenment I chop wood and carry water, but I now give my work my full, undivided attention."

You and I are not Buddhist monks, and our daily routines most likely do not include chopping wood or carrying water, but the point of the story is to focus fully on whatever it is you and I do each day. If we are washing dishes, we can try to give our full attention to washing the dishes. If we are talking with a friend or family member, we can try to give them our full, undivided attention. We may not be able to do this every minute of the day but we can try to reduce distractions and give our full, undivided attention to whatever we are doing throughout the day. Focus on doing one thing at a time, giving it your full attention can change we live in the world.

I don't know if this will help any of us attain enlightenment, but it will certainly be enlightening to discover how often we are distracted and how rare it is for us to give anything or anyone our full, undivided attention.

Super Gratitude

The Super Moon was quite a phenomenon this past week. If you were able to see it for yourself, or if you have seen any of the numerous stunning photos of it, you know why. Last week the moon was closer to Earth than it had been since 1948, and it won’t be that close again until 2034. And while the moon appeared larger than usual it, of course, was not actually larger.  It merely appeared larger to us because it was closer. As we were all focusing our collective attention on this special moment in time, our collective appreciation for the beauty of the moon grew as well. The celebration of Thanksgiving has a similar effect on me.  Throughout the year, I try to always be mindful of people, places, and situations for which I am grateful, and I regularly focus on both feeling and expressing it. But when Thanksgiving comes around and I focus more intently on all that I am grateful for, gratitude appears a little larger than normal in my heart and soul, just as it does in our nation’s collective consciousness.

One of my favorite quotes about gratitude is by William Arthur Ward: ”Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” This is why I will be quite intentional about expressing my gratitude to my family, friends, and colleagues this next week.

Please allow me a moment to express here, as well, my heartfelt gratitude to each of you who reads this column and who supports the work of the Living Compass Wellness Initiative.  Without you, this work doesn’t happen. I am immeasurably grateful for the collective attention you all give to the importance of nurturing wholeness and wellness in ourselves, our families, and our communities.

As we move toward the celebration of Thanksgiving, our gratitude may not in fact actually be larger, but hopefully our awareness and expression of that gratitude will.  And just like the Super Moon this past week, that will be a beautiful thing.

    After some time off for Thanksgiving, this column will return in two weeks.  

Love Is Greater Than Fear

My wife and I love to spend time in the wilderness, as we love the quiet and spiritual nourishment we receive by being in nature. Several years ago we were canoeing in Quetico Provincial Park in Ontario, Canada, a very remote park that is only accessible by canoe. I remember well an experience we had one stormy day. We had awoken early  and had to make the decision about whether it was safe to spend the day on the water, as a storm was predicted. My wife thought we should stay put where we were on shore. I thought it made sense to take off and try to get to the next lake, which was a mile or so away, before the storm arrived.  After a brief discussion, we decided to take off, hoping for the best. We loaded up the canoe with all our packs and took off across the very large lake we had been camping on. A half hour later we were in the middle of the lake and a strong thunderstorm suddenly arose. We were at least fifteen minutes from the closest shore when I noticed that the storm had come up behind us. In the next few minutes the sky became increasingly dark, the wind was whipping around us, and the temperature was dropping. Soon there was lightening in the distance, and we both knew the last place we wanted to be at that moment was sitting in a canoe in the middle of that large body of water. Needless to say, we were overwhelmed with fear.

So what did we do? We did what any two people would do in such a situation.  We began to argue, right there in the middle of the lake!  The argument started when my wife began to raise her voice over the wind, yelling, "I told you there was a chance of a storm and that we shouldn't have come out here today!" Soon the shouting went back and forth, with me asking and directing, "Why aren't you paddling harder?"  "Don't paddle on the left, paddle on the right!" And then we began to debate about which point of land to head towards.

After a few minutes of futile arguing we agreed to stop talking and focus instead on getting to shore safely. Fortunately, a while later when we were safely on shore, we found our sense of humor and realized that we had not really been mad at each other, but instead the approaching storm had scared us both so much that we had begun to turn against each other. The storm was the "problem" and yet in the midst of our anxiety we had temporarily made each other the "problem."

Whenever a group of people find themselves in the midst of a "storm" the people that make up the groups are vulnerable to turning against one another, rather than turning toward one another to constructively work together to problem solve. There are many serious "storms" that we face as a country and it is easy to be overwhelmed by fear as we work to face them. Perhaps this is one way to understand why  politics in our country have become so negative and polarizing. In the midst of our storms it is easy to turn against one another and to cast blame on the other person, the other party, or anyone we can find to blame for the storm. If we aren't careful we might hear ourselves just as my wife and I did that day on the lake, yelling, "You got us into this mess!"  "We need more paddling on the left!"  "No we don't--we need more paddling on the right!"  "You have us heading in the wrong direction.What are you thinking?!"  "You are the ones responsible for this mess!"

All people are vulnerable to turning against one another in the midst of adversity or hard times because we are afraid. This includes couples, families, organizations, work teams, communities, and people within a nation. At such times we need to remember to take a step back, allowing for a greater perspective. Even when people are feeling strongly divided and frightened, there is, more than likely, more that unites them than that what is  dividing them. It is up to us then to work to find that common ground and find ways to solve the scary problems, no matter what different perspectives we may have.

There is a profound piece of wisdom in the Bible that speaks to the relationship between difference in perspectives and the love and fear they create.

 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18.

This passage reminds us that love is stronger than fear.  Mature love, well-formed love, banishes fear. The challenge though for all of us is that this truth can work the other way around as well, fear can also banish love.  This is exactly what happened to us in the midst of that thunderstorm in the middle of a large Canadian lake. The storm created fear in both of us, and the fear temporarily overshadowed our love and our ability to work together as a team.

I pray that love will cast out fear in the months and years ahead for our country. I know there are now, and will be times going forward when it may feel like fear is stronger that love, but it is my belief that in the end, love is always stronger than fear, and that in the long run, love always wins.

Thin Places

Celtic Christianity has a term to describe the times and places when we experience an especially strong connection with the spiritual world. It could be a time or place where a person strongly experiences the presence of God, or a time or place where a person experiences the presence of a loved one who has gone on before. The term the Celts use is “thin place” because it describes those times and places when the space between ourselves and the spiritual world, the space between heaven and earth, seems a little closer, a little thinner than usual. This past week, on November 2, many churches celebrated All Souls Day, a day where people remember the lives of those “whom they love, but see no longer.” It is a time to remember and give thanks for the lives of those we have loved and who have had a great influence on who we are today, but are no longer here with us to have and to hold.

In last week’s column I wrote about the “Church of Cubs Baseball." I received more responses to that column than any of the previous almost 400 columns I have written. I had no idea how many other “fellow believers” there were out there, and I had no idea how many other people also experience the connection between spirituality and baseball that I wrote about. I tried to respond to everyone who wrote me as I loved their stories as well, and I apologize if I missed anyone.

As I read the responses a common theme became apparent, as most people who responded wrote about how they had many cherished memories of going to Cubs games throughout the years with a loved one, be it their father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, dear friend, or spouse. In most cases, the loved ones being remembered had passed away and so the memories were now laced with both love and a tinge of grief and sadness. Baseball and loved ones were intimately connected.

Ever since the Chicago Cubs miraculously won the World Series late Wednesday evening, multiple stories have emerged of fans remembering loved ones whom they felt were with them in spirit both during the final innings of the game and during the celebrations that followed. One such story is of Wayne Williams, a man who drove 600 miles to an Indiana cemetery to listen to Game 7 on the radio at the grave of his father. He did so to fulfill a promise the two of them made years ago to listen to the Cubs together, if they ever made it to the World Series. Photos have also been shared of the thousands of Cubs fans who came to the corner of Clark and Addison in Chicago all week using chalk to write the names of loved ones who had passed away on the brick walls of Wrigley Field (see the photo above as an example). Online today I saw many photos of graves in Chicago area cemeteries proudly marked with Cubs pennants, staked into the ground next to the headstones of former faithful fans.

The “Church of Baseball” is a reminder that, “thin places” can occur anywhere and at any time-in a place of worship, watching a sunrise, in a sacred friendship, spending time with a loved one, watching a child grow, or even watching a World Series game.

And it is well worth noting that the Chicago Cubs won Game 7 of the World Series on, of all days, All Souls Day, a day dedicated to remembering the love and the bond we still share with those whom “we love but see no longer.”