The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative that serves schools, counseling centers, nonprofits, universities, and other community wellness organizations. Each week Holly Hughes Stoner and Scott Stoner, who are both licensed marriage and family therapists, co- write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site. There is also a Wellness Compass podcast, where Scott and Holly elaborate on the topic of this column each week, at www.wellnesscompass.org/podcast. or in any podcast app (Apple, Google, Spotify, etc).
Only Love Can Do That
Theo of Golden by Allan Levi is the book I (Holly) am currently reading and loving. Only three quarters of the way through it, the main character Theo and his story has really captivated me as he is everything I’d like to be: curious about others, a good listener to everyone, generous, and non-judgmental.
I’ve been telling Scott about it all week, sharing many of the stories about Theo’s loving kindness and how I find it to be an antidote for much of the suffering that is happening in the world.
Like Theo, we believe that love, kindness, and compassion are the most powerful and most essential forces in the world. We find it important to state this, especially at a time when fear and violence are a constant presence.
We talk in our Wellness Compass resources about how there are many compasses that compete to guide our lives. The compasses of the dominant culture are strong, as are the compasses of our upbringings. Choosing spiritual values, as Theo does—like love, kindness, and compassion—to be what guides us toward True North is an intentional choice any of us can make, no matter what other forces may tempt us to follow them instead.
As psychotherapists, we know firsthand the destruction that violence and hatred cause. Having worked with countless clients who have experienced the mind- and soul-crushing effects of violence and hatred, our hearts have been broken more times than we can count. At the same time, being witnesses to the healing power of love and compassion in the lives of people who have suffered has time and time again reminded us that love and compassion are indeed stronger than violence and hatred.
Hatred and violence are ever present in our world, there is no doubt. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” That’s why we need to continuously choose love, kindness, and compassion as our enduring values both for our own well-being and the well-being of our world.
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