Love Changes Everything

If any of you have ever had a change to your name, you know how important it is to inform everyone you know about this name change.  So I am hereby using this column to officially announce to all of you a very important change to my name.  From now on, you are all welcome to call me by my new name, "Pops." It's been thirty-one years since I first had my life turned upside down by someone only 20 inches long, but it happened again this week.  And once again my heart and soul are feeling an intensity of love that I didn't know was possible.  You might have figured out by now that I indeed became a grandfather this week.  Our son and his wife are the proud parents of a baby boy who is--and this is a completely objective opinion--clearly the most adorable baby ever! And if you twist my arm, I might even show you a picture or two or ten or a video or even share a story of how perfect our grandson is!

There is an ancient tradition that extends across all time and all spiritual traditions of a person receiving a new name after they have either had a profound conversion experience or after they have taken on a new role or position.  Saul became Paul when he changed his ways in biblical times. This happened again recently when Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio was elected Pope and changed his name to Francis.  Years ago, I  remember when a young boxer named Cassius Clay converted to Islam and changed his name to Muhammed Ali, and when a young basketball player named Lew Alcindor changed his name to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

While I will still answer to, "Scott," I'm really liking the sound of my new name, "Pops."  Even more, I like the feel of Pops.   I am not the only person to have received a new name as a result of the arrival of our grandson.  Three other grandparents, including my wife, have received new names as well.  And, of course, our grandson has his own new name!

Most importantly though, there are two other people who have received new names.  Their names are the names our son and his wife received, that of Mom and Dad.  Any of us who have been blessed to be called by those names know the joy of parenthood and the joy they are now experiencing as they step into those roles.

Three different people this week have given me the same piece of advice in regard to becoming a grandparent.  They have each said to me, "Hold on to your heart!"  And to each person I have said the same thing, "It's too late for that."  If I had wanted to hold on to my heart, I would have never had children myself.  I am reminded of the quote by Elizabeth Stone: "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  I now know this to be true for grandparents, too, and I also know it to be true for any one of us who has ever fallen in love with a child or any other human being for that matter.  Falling in love is not about holding on to your heart, but about allowing your heart to be exposed in a whole new and life-expanding way.

Please join with me in giving thanks for the miracle of this new life that has come into our midst.  Please also join me in expressing gratitude for the countless ways in which love continues to be born into our world day after day, in so many different ways.  Even though our names may not be changed, our hearts are changed forever whenever we dare to truly love another human being, because love changes everything.

The Blessing of Pets

I have always loved the Anglican hymn All Things Bright and Beautiful.  The text of the hymn was written by a English woman named Cecil Alexander in 1848 and he refrain, is fairly well known. All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful, the lord God made them all.

There are several beautiful musical settings for this hymn, including one by John Rutter that you can enjoy by following this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlhV80QPUuI

This hymn will be sung at churches throughout the world this coming week as people gather for the annual tradition of the Blessings of the Animals.  All creatures great and small will attend church services with their owners as young and old alike bring their pets to church, either as part of a Sunday morning service, or at a special service set aside just for the blessing of animals.   While serving as the pastor of a church, I had the honor of blessings beloved dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, birds, fish, and even a few stuffed animals that children lovingly brought with them to church.  I have friends who have blessed horses, cows, goats, rats, and snakes!

It's not just a coincidence that churches everywhere hold this type of  service in the first week of October.  October 4 is the day on which people in the church remembers Francis of Assisi, otherwise known as St. Francis, who died on October 3, 1226.  Francis was well known for his love of nature and of animals, and he regularly preached about the importance of learning to be good stewards of all of God's creation.

One of the things I loved most about blessing peoples' pets, was that when they introduced me to their pets and told me a little bit about their special animals, it provided a window into their souls.  Pets have a way of touching our souls and bringing out the very best in us and so it only seems right to have a service for blessing pets.  A gathering of pets and their human families for a blessing is simply a way to celebrate the way in which pets bless our lives everyday.

Our pets give back to us in so many ways.  Years ago I remember hearing Episcopal priest and author Matthew Fox say that his dog was his spiritual director and that he had learned many important lessons about how to live  from his dog.  In that spirit, I conclude this week's column with a list of 20 things we can learn from a dog.  I'm sure other pets have much to teach us as well, so I invite those of you who own others kinds of pets to share what you have learned from them by emailing me you list.  We will share some of the lists on or Facebook page.

Twenty Things I Learned From My Dog

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you are not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close and nuzzle them gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shade tree.
16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout, . . . . run right back and make friends.
18. Bond with your pack.
19. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
20. Long after you are gone, remain a memory in your master's dreams.

Whether we attend a Blessing of the Animals service this week or not. and whether we are pet owner's or not, we can all take some time this week to notice the animals around us and be grateful for their innumerable blessings.

Me Want It, But Me Wait

The 44th season of the children's show Sesame Street began this past week.  This award winning show has long been a favorite of both young children and their parents.  Just thinking about Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Snuffy, Abby, Rosita, Oscar, and Bert and Ernie will most likely bring back a flood of memories associated with watching this delightful show at some time over the last four decades.One of the factors that has kept Sesame Street relevant for so many years is that the show is always evolving to both include and address changes in the culture.  Last week this season's premier revealed a new emphasis that expresses a desire to respond to what early childhood educators say is a growing problem with young children, that of children struggling with impulse control and self-regulation. So which favorite muppet do you think the creators of Sesame Street chose to teach children about the importance of learning to delay gratification?  None other than.... Cookie Monster!   Cookie Monster is, of course, well known for his insatiable desire to consume cookies any chance he gets.  Up until now, he has hardly been an example of how to delay gratification.   This 44th season of Sesame Street, though, reveals a change in Cookie Monster.  He has reformed his ways, and has a new motto to help him teach children about impulse control and self-regulation:  “Me Want It, But Me Wait!” For this new television season, the creators of Sesame Street have also launched a series of movie parody videos that also teach the lessons of impulse control and self-regulation. The goal of these videos is to draw in the parents too,  so that they can model and reinforce the importance of learning to delay gratification.  The creators of Sesame Street seem to know that when it comes to creating heathy habits, parents are  their children's primary teachers.  Parents most effectively teach the lessons of self-regulation and impulse control to their children by modeling those traits and habits in their own lives. (You can view one of these fun videos here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PnbKL3wuH4#t=51 ) “Me Want It, But Me Wait” is a great motto for all of us--not just for Cookie Monster and the viewers of Sesame Street.  No matter what the “it” is we want, learning to delay gratification is the key to wellness in all areas of our lives.  Or to look at this from another point of view, the cause of most breakdowns in physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational wellness is the inability to delay gratification.  Wellness in all areas of our life is directly related to self-regulation and impulse control.  Relationships get off track  when people impulsively react to each other out of hurt or anger.  Our physical wellness suffers if we simply eat every “cookie” that comes our way.  Our spiritual wellness suffers if we approach spirituality with a “consumer” mentality, seeking to only be entertained and filled up. Wellness requires discipline and the forming of habits and practices that bear fruit over a longer period of time. It doesn't happen quickly!  It's worth noting here that some 2000 years ago Paul, a primary writer of  the New Testament, in a letter to the people of Galatia wrote, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22,23).  Wise people even then seemed to understand this important connection between self-control and creating a good life.

Filling Each Other's Backpacks

Living Compass was in Kansas City, Missouri this past weekend presenting at a program sponsored by the Episcopal Diocese of Western MIssouri.  The program was hosted by a local Episcopal church, the Church of the Good Shepherd Church.  It is a wonderful church with a lively sense of the Spirit, a clear commitment to youth and adult education, and a strong commitment to outreach. One of the expressions of their commitment to outreach is their Backpack Shepherd program.  The program is as powerful as it is simple.  Each week parishioners shop for and pack food staples into 100 children's backpacks.  Each Friday the backpacks go to children in area public schools who have been chosen by the school's guidance counselors.  The children take the backpacks filled with food home to their families to help make sure that they and their families don't go hungry over the weekend.  On Monday, the children bring the backpacks back to school and the church members pick them up and restock them for the following Friday.  The volunteers who work so hard to make this ministry happen  week after week never meet the children or families who receive the backpacks full of food.  They do get many thank you notes from the families, but it was clear from my conversations with several of the volunteers that their greatest reward in doing this work is simply the joy and satisfaction that comes from addressing the hunger needs of a 100 children and their families.

I learned about the Backpack Shepherd program shortly before I was to give my presentation about how churches can best offer wellness programs to their members and to the larger community.  I decided to start my talk by raising up the Backpack Shepherd program as a great example of one particular kind of wellness program, and then I asked the people this question,  “In addition to those in your community who are physically hungry, what other hungers  do you sense in the people in your community?”  Participants offered their answer out loud in front of the whole group and offered responses addressing multiple areas of wellness, including spiritual, emotional, vocational, relational, and intellectual wellness. Here are the top responses:

• Friendship
• Connection
• Compassion
• Community
• Purpose
• Direction
• Sabbath Time--people are going exhausted from their busyness
• Fun
• Relaxation

From this list of responses, I would say that the people of Kanas City are no different from the people in all our communities. When our children were little, I would often grab them and give them a huge bear hug.  I would hold them and tell them how much I love them.  When they were old enough to comment on what I was doing, I told them that I was, “filling up their love tank.”  I explained that just as a car needs gas in its tank to run, each of us needs love in our tank to run.  This was great fun for all of us!.  In line with reflecting about the great work of the Backpack Shepherd ministry, I could say I was filling my children's “backpacks”--not with physical food, but with emotional and spiritual food.  And of course my own backpack was getting filled at the same time.

We all know someone who's backpack needs filling right now.  Maybe they need a hug from us, or a word of encouragement.  Maybe they need a phone call from us, or a prayer.  Maybe they need a visit from us, or a hand written note.  Maybe they need us to offer to babysit, or to run an errand.  Maybe they need an invitation to join our group, or just a listening ear.  And just maybe, we need some these things ourselves.

In healthy relationships, healthy families, healthy workplaces, healthy organizations, and healthy congregations, people are filling each other's backpacks all of the time, while at the same time they are are giving what we all hunger for most: friendship, purpose, connection, fun, and community.

So thank you to the Backpack Shepherd ministry at the Church of the Good Shepherd in Kansas City for reminding us of the many simple, but powerful ways we can make a difference in each other's lives.

Who's Your Teacher?

Over the last two weeks, all across the country, students have returned to school. Feelings of excitement mixed with a tinge of stress are ubiquitous for both children and their families as rhythms of summer are replaced by the rhythms of the school year. One question that is especially on the mind of every younger child as he or she begins school is, "Who's my teacher going to be this year?" Parents, along with their children, are hoping that their children get the teacher they desire. For most of the readers of this column, it's probably been a few years since you have started a new school year. However, I invite you to think of the question, "Who's Your Teacher?" as it applies to you in your adult life.

We may not be in school any more, but we are learning our whole lives. Life is our classroom and the potential lessons are limitless. As you reflect on your own life right now, who are you learning from? What teacher or teachers are you seeking to learn from? What lessons are you wanting to learn from this teacher or teachers? There is an old saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will arise. What in life are your ready to learn right now? Who will you learn it from?

In this classroom called life we are all students and we are all teachers. We are all lifelong learners. We turn to our friends, family members, mentors, colleagues, pastors, rabbis, coaches, therapists, and others to be our teachers. And along the way, others turn to us to be their teachers as well.

We often turn to someone to be our teacher who has more experience in what it is we need to learn. This is often someone who has already been where we are going. A parent turns to other parents, especially those with more experience, to learn from their wisdom. A person struggling with a cancer diagnosis turns to other cancer survivors to learn from their life experience. A person wanting to deepen their spiritual life turns to their faith leader and members of their faith community to learn from and be inspired by their faith journeys. A person starting out in their career turns to a respected leader in their field. A singer hires a voice teacher and joins a choir. A person wanting to start exercising takes a fitness class or joins a fitness club. A reader joins a book group.

When we were school children we did not have a great deal of say about who our teacher was. As adults though, we get to choose who our teachers will be. Choosing our teachers is very important. And just as important is being humble enough to acknowledge that there is always more for us to learn. To be a lifelong learner is to relish the fact that our awareness and consciousness is always expanding.

So who are your teachers right now? As you think about who your teachers are right now, also think about whether you are looking for an additional teacher or perhaps an additional learning community at this point in your life. If so, this time of year is a great time to make a change.

And so to all the students out there, both young learners and lifelong learners, "Happy back to school!"