A Conspiracy of Love

A few weeks ago during this recently completed Christmas season I was introduced to a wonderful quote. It is from an American writer and lecturer by the name of Hamilton Wright Mabie, who lived from the mid-nineteenth century to the early twentieth century. The quote describing Christmas is, "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." The phrase, "a conspiracy of love" is what caught my attention in this quote. The word conspiracy is usually associated with an activity that is criminal or hurtful, such as a conspiracy to overthrow the government or a plot to undermine someone or something. If you look up the definition of conspire the first meaning matches this thinking, "to agree together, especially secretly, to do something wrong, evil, or illegal."

The second meaning of conspire expands the understanding of the word beyond something secret and illegal-- "to act or work together toward the same result or goal." This meaning clearly comes from the root meanings of the two words that combine to create the word conspire, con meaning "with" and spire meaning "spirit." So to conspire means for people to act together with the same spirit, a meaning that is clearly captured in the quote I shared at the beginning of this column, when it talks about the season of Christmas being a time the whole world is engaged in a conspiracy of love.

The headlines in the news this week have again been filled with stories of people committing unbelievable acts of horrific violence. What happened in Paris is evidence that, in fact, people can conspire together to do evil. Yet the response of the thousands of people that showed up just hours after the shootings for a spontaneous gathering to honor the victims, risking their own safety in the process, showed that people can also choose to conspire together to do good and spread love in the world.

With this week's events in Paris and with of all of the other hundreds of local stories of violence and hurt we need a conspiracy of love now as much as ever in our world. Love is spread the same way hatred is spread, by people individually and collectively deciding which spirit will be their guide and deciding which spirit they are going to radiate out both at home and in the world.

These last few days I have been reflecting on what kind of spirit am I spreading into the lives of the people I come in contact with. I invite you to do the same. I have been reflecting on the difficult fact that I, like most all of us, am capable of spreading a spirit of negativity, and of unhealthy criticism. At the same time, I also, like most of us, am capable of spreading a spirit of love and healing. It's not easy to take an honest inventory of ourselves, but in the end it is a worthwhile exercise as it helps us to recommit to engaging in a conspiracy of love, the kind of conspiracy our homes and our world desperately need right now.

A High Degree of Resolution

Our daughter and son-in-law are going to Thailand later this month for their honeymoon. To help them capture the wonderful experience they are sure to have on their trip, my wife and I gave them a compact digital camera for Christmas. If you have ever shopped for a digital camera you know that cameras with higher degrees of resolution produce the clearest images. A higher degree of resolution will produce the best results.

This is the time of year when many of us are making resolutions. No matter what the particular content of a New Year's resolution may be, the key to success is being resolute about one's resolution. Having a high degree of resolution regarding your resolutions means, just as with a digital camera, that you have a high degree of focus and clarity. Just as with digital cameras, a higher degree of resolution will produce the best results.

So in light of all this, my New Year's resolution is to have a higher degree of resolution in my life. I resolve to have a sharper focus on my most important priorities. I resolve to have a clearer focus on my faith, my family, my work, my service to others, and my commitment to live a balanced life. To be more resolute in all of these areas of my life is my resolution. Whether or not you make resolutions this time of year, I invite you to reflect on the benefits of living life with a high degree of resolution by keeping your spirituality, purpose, and values in sharp focus.

  To our readers, all good wishes for a Happy New Year and resolute 2015.

The Heart of Christmas

I remember the first Christmas that I was a parent. It was 1982. I bought How the Grinch Stole Christmas that year and read it repeatedly to my 8 month old son, not so much for his sake as for mine. Like the Grinch at the end of the story my heart was growing to expanded dimensions that I had never before experienced. Until I became a parent, I didn't know I could feel so much love in my heart. I cried more that Christmas season than any other, tears of joy, tears of feeling my heart being stretched to a new size, tears of a love too deep for words. There is something about the vulnerability of a child, especially of an infant, that allows us, or perhaps demands us, to experience our own vulnerability. The infant has no defenses, no pretenses, and no place to hide. It is utterly dependent on others for its existence.

I still tear up a lot at Christmas. It's an emotional time of year for most of us with tears of grief for loved ones no longer with us, and tears of joy for the love of friends and family.

As we continue our twelve days of celebrating Christmas, the celebration of the Word made flesh and entering the world, it is worth noting that the Word chose to enter the world not as an armed warrior, but as a disarming infant.

May this disarming infant be a reminder to us of our own vulnerability and may it be an invitation to put down our defenses and pretenses, to allow our hearts to grow a few sizes larger this year. May it be a reminder that we, too, are completely dependent upon one another, and upon the Word made flesh, for our very existence.

A Continued Merry Christmas to all of you from Living Compass.

Receiving Gifts

Have you ever had the experience of being hurt by how someone responded to a gift that you had given him or her? Perhaps this person opened your gift, looked at it and realized it was not what he or she wanted, quickly putting it aside and never showing interest in it again. Such a reaction would understandably be painful for any gift giver. If we are honest, we have probably each been on both sides of this gift-exchanging scenario. It is easy to build up expectations about a gift we want to receive and then be disappointed when what we open is not the gift we had in mind. While it true that "It is more blessed to give, than to receive" (Acts 20:35), it is also true that one of the real blessings and gifts we can give to others is to be a good receiver of gifts, appreciating the other person's effort and intent to bring happiness.

As you receive gifts this Christmas, take the opportunity to practice being a good receiver. Show genuine interest in the gift and be curious about how or why the giver chose this gift for you. Receiving a gift this way will mean so much to the giver and ultimately to you as well. It will be as much of a gift for them as the gift they have given you is for you.

Extending this idea of receiving gifts, why not practice becoming more intentional about receiving the non-material gifts that you have been given as well? Your friends, each member of your family, your colleagues, and your neighbors are all gifts that you have been given by God. What if you were to think this coming week about each person in your life as a gift you are receiving from God, as if they contained a spark of God's divinity within them? How would you treat them then?

It is all too easy to receive a gift, whether a material gift or the gift of someone's presence in our lives, in a mindless manner. In both cases, if we are not careful, we may not give adequate attention to the gift or we may take it for granted, hurting the giver in the process.

Whatever gifts we have may or may not be given this Christmas, we all have been given the most important gift of all, the birth of Jesus, the birth of the Word made flesh. As with all gifts, this gift needs to be opened and received with mindfulness and loving attention. To do otherwise would hurt God, the giver of this and all gifts, as well as diminish the full potential for transformation of our lives that this gift offers.

Each week this wellness column focuses on the choices we can make to be well and to whole. As we prepare to celebrate Christmas, it is a time to not just on our choices, but on the most important choice of all, the choice that God has made to become fully incarnate in our lives. Making room in the inn of our own hearts to receive this gift from God with gratitude and appreciation is the true foundation for all wellness and wholeness.

**This is the last weekly column before Christmas, and so our Living Compass team would like to wish each of you a most wonderful and Holy Christmas.

Our Journey Toward Christmas

There are many compasses we can use to guide our lives, a fact that is especially clear this time of year. The compass of the dominant culture and its emphasis on the "Christmas Machine" has a strong pull right now, inviting us to both do and buy more. This same compass also encourages us to make strive to make this Christmas the "best Christmas ever!" I don't even know what that might mean, but I certainly know that approaching anything with that kind of pressure and expectation is the surest way to ruin it. Imagine you were going to have some friends over for an evening of dinner and fun. Now imagine that your goal was to make sure that this would be the best dinner gathering with friends ever! Again, I am not sure quite what that would even mean, but I do know that approaching any occasion with this mindset will most likely heighten the anxiety which could then ruin rather than enhance the experience. Christmas is a hard time of year for many people. Holidays like Christmas are markers and reminders of losses and past gatherings that we have experienced in our lives. A loved one who has always been with us to celebrate Christmas is not with us this year. Someone has died since last Christmas, or a relationship has ended, or a dear friend or family member has moved away. This might be a Christmas where we are all alone, or one where financial difficulties are magnified and greatly limit our ability to celebrate, as we would like to. This might be a Christmas overshadowed by significant health issues, either for ourselves or someone we love.

As we remember how difficult this time of year can be for many people, we clearly see how dangerous and in fact painful a mindset of "make it the best Christmas ever" or trying to create the "perfect" Christmas can be. So if the mindset and compass of the dominant culture prove to unhelpful and stressful, what compass might we use instead to guide our decisions and our experiences as we approach the celebration of Christmas?

Here's a rather obvious idea. Why not truly make the meaning of Christmas your guiding compass this time of year? The compass of Christmas points in a very different direction than does the compass of the dominant culture. Specifically, it points the way towards Christmas by reminding us that:

• Presence is more important than presents.
• The best gifts cannot be purchased at a store.
• The Light is stronger than any darkness or sadness we may be experiencing at this time.
• Spending time with or making things for friends and family is a holy gift.
• Caroling with and for others is a gift for the soul as is the gift of visiting someone who is alone.
• Giving a gift of time or money to a local cause or charity can mean more than any material gift we might buy.
• The vulnerability of sharing with others any sadness we are experiencing creates an experience of love and intimacy, which is, of course, the heart of what Christmas is all about.
• Listening, loving, and caring are the greatest gifts we can share.
• The most important thing to keep in mind this season is not just what we do or give to one another, but is that we have been given the greatest gift of all, the gift of Love by God.

If you find yourself feeling stressed this time of year, take a moment to assess which compass is truly influencing your mindset and choices. As with any journey, the compass we use to guide our way everyday makes all the difference as to where we end up. If we choose wisely these next few weeks, our journeys toward Christmas are much more likely to be full of authentic joy, peace, and love.