A Speed Skater Village

My wife and I are runners and during this very cold and icy winter in our hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, we have had to go inside on many occasions to run. On those days we are always grateful that our city hosts one of the largest indoor running tracks in the country at the Pettit National Ice Center. The running track is so large that each mile is only three and a half laps (a high school track, for comparison, is four laps to a mile). We know the track well, having run many, many laps there this past weekend and over the past two months as we continue to train for a marathon in April. This amazing indoor facility which hosts this large running track was not built for runners, but rather for Olympic speed skaters. The facility houses one of four Olympic 400 meter ice ovals in the United States and two ice hockey rinks, all of which the running track encircles. Prior to the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics in 2002 the Pettit National Ice Center was the official training center for Olympic skaters. Bonnie Blair, Eric Heiden, and Dan Jansen all trained here. Shani Davis, a member of the current US Olympic team, lives in the Chicago area and trains both in Milwaukee and Salt Lake City today. It is an exciting place to be on any day as there are regularly world class athletes training or competing.

As we were completing our training run last weekend we were fortunate to witness the beginning of a special speed skating competition that was taking place on the Olympic oval. It just so happened that high school age speed skaters from all around the United States were in town for the 2014 US Junior Olympics Long Track Championships. This competition, while not the Winter Olympics in Soshi, was a prelude to that level of competition. We were told by the coaches and officials that several of the young men and women competing in this event would most likely be skating in the next winter Olympics in four years.

Inspired to be so close to forty amazing skaters, we stayed for over an hour to watch them compete. We were able to stand so close to the ice that we could actually feel the drafts they created as they sped by us, one pair at a time. As inspired as we were by the athletes, we were equally inspired by the one hundred or so spectators and coaches that were present to cheer on the skaters. The spectators were mostly the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and brothers and sisters of the skaters. We talked to several spectators from at least ten different states who had all taken time off of work and school, traveled countless miles, and undoubtedly spent lots of money to be at this event, all to support these young people.

We spoke with many of the parents and coaches and heard stories about the early mornings, late nights, and many weekends that they had each dedicated over the years to traveling and cheering on their favorite skater. The sacrifices they were each making, including flying to Milwaukee for this competition, were real and so was the joy on their faces as they cheered and yelled encouragement from the stands at the top of their lungs.

There are only four Olympic length ice ovals in the United States and so traveling great distances as a speed skater or a supporter of speed skaters is a given for this sport. To help us understand the commitment of these fans to their athletes imagine if the young person in your life was a soccer, baseball, or basketball player and there were only four fields or courts in the entire United States on which to compete. If that were the case, you might very well be doing the same thing.

As I watched the Olympics in Sochi this past week, especially the speed skaters, I kept thinking back to last weekend. I found myself not just watching the skaters, but the fans in the stands who were there to cheer for them. I thought of all the hours that the athletes had put in on the ice, as well as how much the skaters' coaches and families had sacrificed to support them in getting to this pinnacle of their sport.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. My wife and I witnessed last week that it clearly takes a village to raise a speed skater, as well. I am sure the same is true for bobsledders, ski jumpers, hockey players, and snowboarders, too. I am also sure that it is true for any endeavor that any person chooses to pursue, sports related or otherwise, one person cannot do it alone. Sometimes we are the one pursuing a goal or overcoming a challenge, and sometimes we play the part of the village, supporting and cheering on someone we care about as he or she chases a goal or works to overcome a challenge.

There are at least two "take aways" in all of this for me. First, when you are working hard to pursue an important goal or are facing a tough challenge, be sure to surround yourself with a village of support. It will feel better on both the good days and the bad. Second, when you know someone who is pursuing an important goal or a touch challenge, be part of their village and cheer for them "at the top of your lungs."

I Want to Hold Your Hand.

One of the simple and great pleasures in my life at this moment is when our four month old grandson holds my hand.   The sensation of his four month old hand and my hand together creates a feeling of unspeakable joy.  Truth be told, he doesn't actually hold my hand, it's more like he holds my finger.  Even more to the point, he not only holds my finger, but my heart, too.  There is something universally profound and comforting about the simple act of two people holding hands.  In fact, scientific research demonstrates the powerful effect on the brain that happens when two people touch or hold hands. Stress is reduced and people feel happier, simply by holding hands. Earlier this week, there was much written about the fiftieth anniversary of the Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.  I remember being a small boy and watching the show with my family and I distinctly remember the Beatles singing, “I Want to Hold Your Hand,”  a song that became the first of the group's many number one hits in America.  Like the very act of love that the song celebrates, the words and tune of this song are as simple as they are memorable and the world loved it.

Today is Valentine's Day and I have long thought it important on this day to honor and celebrate all varieties and expressions of love, not only romantic love.  Why limit this day to just one expression of love when life is full of so many other beautiful experiences of love?  In that spirit, if I had to choose a love song to help celebrate all of these many different expressions and experiences of love, I cannot think of a better song than, “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”   Even though this song refers to romantic love, the act of holding hands is a universal demonstration of all kinds of love.

In light of this thought, I have been reflecting on my life, both past and present, and reflecting on all of those with whom I have loved holding hands.  Who have you loved to hold hands with through the years? Children? Lovers? Parents? Friends? It's inspiring and comforting to think of the many ways in which holding hands has provided comfort and expressed love throughout our lives.

Now I love holding the hand of my new grandson, just as I loved holding the hands of my children years ago. I have powerful memories of holding each of my parent's hands in the final days of their lives that I will always treasure.  As a pastor, I have had the honor of holding hands with thousands of people as we prayed together.    As an athlete I enjoy “high-fiving” a teammate or competitor after an inspiring performance, and it strikes me that giving someone a high five is an abbreviated form of holding hands.  In fact, even the everyday act of shaking hands with someone is a momentary act of holding hands.  Of course, I love holding hands with my wife, especially when I'm in need of reassurance or when we share a strong emotion. What  list would you create from your life?  Together our lists, if we were to share them, would indeed move us as we would come to awareness of  the multitude of ways in which love is both expressed and experienced through the simple act of holding of hands.

After the Valentine's flowers have wilted and the chocolates have been eaten you always have at your disposal a simple, delightful and reassuring gift that you can offer on any day, your hand.  Happy Valentine's Day to all of our readers and in the week ahead may you look around you in search of someone who would like to have you hold their hand.

Drug? What's the Big Deal?

This week a local high school in suburban Milwaukee, WI is hosting a seminar for parents entitled, “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?” On  the flyer promoting the event it states that heroin is now the drug of choice in the suburban county in which this high school is located.  Unfortunately, you would be hard pressed to find a high school in the United States that has been not affected at some level by heroin or other drug use.  Over the last several years, drug abuse by young people has become increasingly more dangerous  for the simple reason that young people are increasingly using and abusing more dangerous drugs, and often mixing them with alcohol. How did this happen?  There are of course many complex factors that contribute to the increased use of heroin by young people, but the most important factor is the increased illegal use of prescription drugs.  Prescriptions pain drugs such as oxycontin or vicodin are increasing available to anyone who desires to use or abuse them.  The connection between prescription painkillers and heroin is twofold.  The “high” from abusing prescription painkillers is very similar to the “high” of using heroin, and the cost of heroin on the black market is half the price of prescription painkillers.  These two facts can literally, at times, be a lethal combination, and even more so when mixed with alcohol.

We learned again about the lethality of heroin this week with the death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.  Hoffman, an Academy Award winning actor, was found dead in his apartment with a needle in his arm and fifty bags of heroin nearby.  While his death received front page coverage, the other approximately hundred people who died of a drug overdose in our country on the same day, did not. Hospital statistics tell us that an average of one hundred people die every day of drug overdoses in the United States and most of these never make the news. These numbers merely count the deaths and can't even begin to quantify the amount of despair, heartbreak, and sorrow that occur in the lives of the addicts and of their families.  “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?”  Sadness and heartache and death are in fact the big deal.

So what can we do in response to this public health crisis and to the fact that addictions to heroin and other drugs, including alcohol, are an undeniable problem in our country?

• We can  talk with those we love about drug use and abuse, whether  it be heroin, or alcohol, or something else.  We cannot make progress in addressing this issue unless we keep our eyes open and admit it when there is a potential problem.

• Build a caring relationship with the teens and young adults in your life. Research shows that young people who feel connected to the adults in their lives have a reduced rate of drug and alcohol use.

• Talk about this issue in your family, your school, your faith community, your       neighborhood, and even in your workplace. Talk about what each of these groups of people you are involved with can do to help prevent addictions from developing in and around them.

• Be honest with yourself. If you are concerned about your own use of drugs and/or alcohol, talk with someone and seek help now.

• If you  have  prescription painkillers in your home, be sure you safeguard them from young people and dispose properly of any unused prescriptions.

• If you are concerned that someone you love may be abusing drugs and/or alcohol, take the risk and talk to them about your concern.  Don't make the mistake of waiting for them to bring it up.  Let them know that you care about them, are concerned about their well being, and are there to help.  Don't judge.

• Remember that an addiction is a brain disease and needs medical attention to promote healing.  Help the person with the addiction find medical care.

•  Become informed about drugs, what they do, how you can get help or offer help by familiarizing yourself with helpful websites such as www.drugfree.org.  The more information you have, the better equipped you will be to help someone if the need should ever arise.

Drug and alcohol abuse is not an issue that affects “other people.” Every one of us most likely cares about someone whose life has been affected by drug and/or alcohol addiction.  We must keep talking about this and keep raising our consciousness so that together we can make a difference in lessening the heartache and pain that go hand in hand with addiction of any type.

Wouldn't it be great if someday there was not a need for a class entitled, “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?”  That day is not now, but now is the time to wonder, “What can I do in my part of the world to begin to make that a possibility?”

Encouraging Everyone to Sing Along

I caught something forty years ago from a man who died this week, and I'm glad I did.  Pete Seeger, who passed away this week at the age of 94, was the sole inspiration for my passion for learning to play guitar and banjo back when I was in high school in  the early 1970‘s.  His vitality and spirit that came through  his playing and singing was contagious for me and I wanted to sing as well.  It was simple, I learned to play folk music because I wanted to be like Pete Seeger. I am incredibly fortunate to be able to say that I saw Pete Seeger in concert several times and there are two things that I remember most about those wonderful experiences.  The first is the incredible range of music that he would perform.  I will never forget his dancing and stomping around the stage as he told the story and sang the children's song, “Abiyoyo.”  It was hard to know who was having more fun at those moments--the adults and children in the audience or Pete himself.  It was powerful how this master of song would change the mood on a dime by following a fun-loving children's song in his concerts with a spiritual song such as “Turn, Turn, Turn,” Amazing, Grace,” or “We Shall Overcome.”  Those songs might then be followed by a social protest song or a song about cleaning up the Hudson River, a cause he spent decades supporting.  I was always impressed by how passionate and at home he was with each of these musical genres.  While the style and mood of his music would change, his inner vitality and inner light remained the same, mesmerizing and enthralling the diverse crowd as he wove the music together into a tapestry of emotion and thoughtfulness for one and all

The second signature memory I have  of a Pete Seeger concert is something that would become apparent a few seconds into the opening song.  We concert goers would quickly discover that we were not so much at a concert, but were participating in a singalong.  When Pete sang a song, he always sang it twice.  Before singing each line of a song he would sing or speak the line to the audience so that they could then sing along with him going forward.  He taught us the song as he sang it and pretty soon we found ourselves in the midst of a 5,000 member choir singing and swaying to the music.  Pete Seeger's concerts, like his music as a whole, had the power to create community where every voice was encouraged and welcomed.

If you look at the picture at the top of this column you will see a picture of Pete Seeger as song leader.   You can sense his contagious energy as he is inviting, or rather calling forth, the audience to sing along.   Fans are created when a group of people enjoy having the voice a great singer lifted up.  Community, on the other hand, is created when everyone's voice is welcomed, lifted and becomes an integral part of the gathering. Authentic, spirit-filled  communities (be they families, faith communities, groups of friends or people at a Pete Seeger concert) where everyone's voice is encouraged and heard are contagious.  We want to be a part of them--and we want to sing along.

Thanks Pete for inspiring me to use my voice to make music and more importantly, for inspiring everyone who continues to create communities of spirit and love where everyone's voice is encouraged and welcomed.  May we all, in honor of Pete Seeger's memory, continue to create places where everyone's voice, in this singalong we call life, is welcome and all are included in the choir.

Being Present When It Matters Most

It's probably safe to say that all of us know someone who has experienced some type of trauma at some point in their life, things such as witnessing or being a victim of domestic or other violence, being in or witnessing a life threatening accident, losing a loved one suddenly or living through a natural disaster. It is also probably safe to say that many of us have experienced trauma at some point in our own lives. People who are recovering from trauma need the healing presence of others at that point of their lives more than perhaps at any other time in their lives, and yet....  many people simply do not know how best to be present to their friends and family who need their healing presence.This week I learned about a young woman who has much to teach us and I want to share her wisdom with you.  The young woman is Catherine Woodiwiss.  In 2008, Catherine's sister died in a horseback riding accident, and in 2013, Catherine, herself,was hit by a car on her bicycle, experiencing trauma to her face, the healing of which required numerous surgeries. Catherine recently wrote a blog post about what these two tragic experiences have taught her about life after trauma.  This blog post received national attention this week when New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a beautiful column based on Catherine's wisdom, entitled, “The Art of Presence” http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/21/opinion/brooks-the-art-of-presence.html.

Here is a summary of the ten things Catherine learned about living with trauma. 1. Trauma permanently changes us.

2.  Presence is always better than distance.

3.  Healing is seasonal, not linear.

4.  Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are        both.

5.  Grieving is social, and so is healing.

6.  Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.

7.  Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.

8.  Love shows up in unexpected ways.

9.  Whatever doesn't kill you …

10. .....Doesn't kill you.

      I highly recommend that you read Catherine's entire column found below so that you can  benefit fully from her hard earned wisdom, as understanding this about trauma might help you reach out to another or heklp you reach out for help if you are, indeed also recovering from trauma.  “A New Normal: Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma” can be found by clicking here.  In her own way, she is offering her presence to anyone affected by trauma.   http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new-normal-ten-things-ive-learned-about-trauma

As someone who has experienced trauma in a bicycle accident in 2006 and has also had the honor of working with many survivors of trauma, Catherine's words are as profound as they are helpful.  Grief and trauma truly are social, and that is why I invite you to read her whole blog post.  If you are recovering from trauma, you will better understand what you are experiencing, or if you know someone who is a trauma survivor, you will better understand how you can best be an important presence in his or her healing process.