Know Yourself. Live Better.

The title of this column, “Know Yourself. Live Better.” could easily be from a classic spiritual or philosophical piece of writing.  After all, it was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Aristotle added, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”  And in the Bible, in the seventh chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, it says, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.”  In fact, the phrase, “Know Thyself” is inscribed on the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi.  Throughout history, wise teachers have certainly stressed the importance of self-knowledge. “Know yourself, live better,” however, is not the saying of an ancient spiritual sage, but rather the slogan that appears on the package of a fitness tracking device that I received for Christmas..  Fitness tracking devices are quite popular these days.  Some devices are worn on your wrist and some clip somewhere near your waist or on your shoe.  They all do a good job of recording the total number of steps you take each day.  In this way, they are simply high tech pedometers.  The wrist band models do more than just count your steps though--they also keep track of how many hours of sleep you get each night.  Each of these devices connects to your computer or smart phone, thus clearly revealing to you your daily fitness trends.

I like my fitness band because it does, in fact, help me to know myself better.  Like many people, I have a pretty sedentary job and so it's helpful to actually see how many steps I take and how many calories I burn each day.  There is also the great incentive of seeing the clear results in both step count and burned calories that a good workout delivers.  I'm happy to report that I'm doing pretty well with my daily step count, but I'm learning that I need to get more sleep.   Most importantly, my new device is also already serving as a motivator for positive change.  The other bonus of these fitness tracking devices is that through the app on your smartphone or a website on your computer you can share your daily step count with friends and family, thus creating a group of friends to both cheer you on and keep you accountable.

I do not mention the fitness device craze to encourage  you to purchase a fitness tracking device, but rather, to emphasize the essential role that self-knowledge plays in making of better choices.   There are indeed many other ways, other than using a fitness tracking device, for us to gain greater self-knowledge.   Any of the following can assist us with knowing ourselves better:

• A regular practice of keeping a journal or diary.
• A regular practice of spiritual reading or study.
• Being part of a support or accountability group.
• Honest conversations with friends and love ones where honest feedback can be freely given and received.
• A regular practice of prayer or meditation.
• Meeting with a coach, pastor, spiritual director, or therapist.

Once we increase our self-awareness, then we still have to decide  if we want to “live better.”  I don't know about you, but I know that when I gain greater self-knowledge, I am almost always motivated to make better choices based on that self-knowledge. Taking an honest look at our habits takes courage, but it is also the first step towards creating a more grace-filled, vital life.

High-tech gadgets come and go faster than the change of seasons, but the ancient spiritual wisdom of the importance of honest and accurate self-knowledge is as true today as it was three thousand years ago.  How ever you choose to achieve greater self-knowledge, I encourage you to make it a regular practice, because better living, along with greater vitality, is almost always sure to follow.

Person of the Year

Time Magazine honored Pope Francis last month with their annual “Person of the Year” award.  Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected pope on March 13, 2013 and he immediately let the world know through a series of simple and powerful actions that he was going to be a different kind of pope.  Through these actions Pope Francis has touched the hearts and souls of millions of people around the world, including millions who are outside the membership of the Roman Catholic Church.  It is these simple actions that have endeared him to the world and earned Pope Francis Time Magazine's Person of the Year award. The first action, signifying what was to follow, was that the new pope took the name Francis.  St. Francis, one of the most beloved saints, was well known for his life of simplicity and his devotion to caring for the poor.  In his first public act this new pope demonstrated the humble spirit of his namesake by asking the crowd of 150,000 people to pray for him before he, in turn, offered them a blessing.

Numerous photographs and videos of Pope Francis serving the “least of these”  have further demonstrated his gentle and compassionate spirit.  He washed the feet of a young woman at a juvenile prison during Holy Week.  He touched and blessed a man with a disfiguring skin condition at a public Mass and moved the hearts of millions while doing so.  And when a little boy jumped onto the stage in St. Peter's Square while the Pope was giving an address, he showed great patience and kindness to the boy, even when the boy refused to leave until he got a hug from Pope Francis.

These, and other simple actions, along with his words have set a tone of compassion, humility, and healing and have earned Pope Francis the “Person of the Year” award.  As I reflect on all of this from the point of view of wellness, what stands out for me is that  the award that this new pope received is entitled the Person of the Year Award.  He was not given an award for being the Pope of the Year--that would be a pretty small field of candidates, after all--but Person of the Year.  That's what I want to really highlight about Francis, in terms of this award--not what kind of pope he is, but what kind of person and example he is for all of us.

I highlight this because his actions demonstrate what a high level of spiritual, emotional, and relational wellness looks like.  We don't have to become pope to aspire to the qualities that Pope Francis exemplifies.  The key to being a good pope is the also the key to being good at any role or vocation we have in life, and that is first and foremost, to simply be a good person.  Being a good person is the key to being a good friend, a good spouse, a good teacher, a good parent, a good worker of any kind, and clearly of being a good pope.  I can't think of any role in life that is not greatly enhanced by being a good person.  Pope Francis has also reminded us that no title or role  matters nearly as much as the character of the person that inhabits that role. Consistently living our lives in a way that demonstrates humility, compassion, and patience will most likely not get any of us elected pope or earn us any kind of popular award.  Centering our lives on these virtues will, however, ultimately be it's own reward, for our own emotional and spiritual well-being as well as for the emotional and spiritual well-being of those who know us best.

A New Year's Gift to Yourself

Merry Tenth day of Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year, as well.  As we all transition into a new year, I hope that each of us will take some time to reflect on what we are most grateful for in regard to the year that has just passed, and what we wish to more intentional about in the year to come. One of the defining activities of the Christmas season is the giving and receiving of gifts.  And, of course one of the defining activities of the beginning of a new year is the making of resolutions.  As I hear people talk about the former activity--the giving and receiving of gifts--I sense great joy in what people share about their gifts to others.  As I hear people talk about the latter activity, however--making New Years resolutions--I typically sense a very different kind of energy.  When people talk about making their resolutions for the new year. I often instead sense underlying feelings of self-criticism, anxiety, and a long list of “shoulds” that people feel they need to live up to.

So I have a suggestion.  What if we were to bring the same joy and positive energy that we feel about the giving and receiving of gifts to the setting of new years resolutions?  What if we were to think about our new year's resolutions as gifts that we are choosing to give to ourselves?

When you or I want to give a lovely gift to someone we care about, we first take some time to think about what that person would really want.  What would make them truly happy?  The better we know the person, the more easily it is for us to choose just the right gift that we know will please them.  What we desire most for the person to whom we are giving our gift is that our gift will bring them a great sense of joy.  We certainly wouldn't give a gift to someone else because we think it's about time they finally change something about themselves and we hope that our gift will help bring that change about.  If our resolutions or new commitments are, in fact, gifts to ourselves we would not want to have that attidude about this gift to ourselves either.  Instead, we would wonder what new commitment could help us get what we really want, what would please us or make us truly happy, and what would give us a new sense of joy.

With this mindset in mind, I have decided to give myself the gift of three New Year's resolutions for 2014.  First, I have signed up to run the Salt Lake City Marathon in April as I love to run and have a goal.  Second, I have decided to play more chess, so I have  have signed up to play on an online international chess playing site.  And finally, I am following a daily reading plan on a Bible study app that selects fifteen minutes of Bible readings per day for me.  Doing each of these activities is a gift I can give to myself.  Upon reflection this new year I realize that I tend to work more than is good and thus I need more rest and play in my life which the chess and running will help with.  The marathon also has the added benefit that several members of my family will be running the Salt Lake City half-marathon the same day and so we will have a great deal of fun as a group training and running together.  The chess is also lots of fun as I can share my love of the game with others. And any extra time I spend nurturing my spiritual life is always one of the greatest gifts I can give to myself.  I don't feel one ounce of “should” or “have to” about any of these  resolutions.  I know it's early in the year, but I am already enjoying the benefits that the gift of these resolutions are having on my life.

You know yourself better than anyone.  You know better than anyone what  more of or less of in your life right now would make you happier and more joyful.  Why not give yourself the gift of a new year's resolution that will help increase your sense of balance and wholeness, and thus your over all sense of well-being?  And there is one additional  benefit to approaching the setting of a resolution as a gift to yourself rather than as a “should,” and that is in the long run, there is a much better chance that you will stay with your positive resolution.

Christmas, Locally Sourced

Locally sourced restaurants are gradually becoming my favorite places to eat.  In case you are not familiar with this term, a locally sourced restaurant feature food that is produced by local farmers.  These restaurants typically provide a list of the nearby farms who are supplying the food they are serving so you know exactly where your food is coming from.  “Farm to table” is another phrase used to describe these restaurants because the restaurants buy directly from the farmers,  getting the food from the farm  to the diner's table as quickly as possible.  “Eat local.”  Whether eating at a restaurant or shopping at a grocery or other store, this motto sums up the commitment to support the local community and to have a close relationship with those that feed us. I like at least two things about locally sourced restaurants.  I like that the food is healthy, fresh, whole, and delicious.  Although the diner may have fewer options to choose from on the menu of such a restaurant, the freshness and quality of the food more than make up for this.   The other thing I like about eating at these restaurants is that I know that I am supporting local farmers, knowing if I wanted to visit one of their farm that the farmers would most likely welcome me, and be happy and proud to show me what they do.  These reasons together serve to create a different dining experience with better taste and a different feel than if instead my food was coming from some  distant, nameless source.

Recently, I happened to eat dinner at a locally sourced restaurant in Chicago  after doing some Christmas shopping.  As I sat there enjoying my dinner with my wife, I suddenly had this “aha” moment, and I would like to share that moment with you.  It struck me during dinner at this ‘farm to table' restaurant that this whole concept of a locally sourced restaurant is a simple, yet powerful, metaphor that captures  the theological meaning of Christmas.  Stay with me now....I know this may seem like a stretch.

Christmas is God's love, locally sourced.  The birth of Christ was and is God's way of making God's love known to each of us at the local level, in our very hearts.  While theological terms such as “immanence, incarnation, and Emmanuel” are often associated with the birth of Jesus, I prefer “locally sourced,” because, for me, this phrase captures the essence of what Christmas is about.  God is not distant and nameless, but instead is close, someone we can know and who also feeds us. Christmas is God's love, locally sourced, served directly to our tables.

We at Living Compass wish all of you most holy Christmas.  We recognize that this can be a very hard and sad time of year for many people, and so we pray that those who are grieving may know the comfort of God's locally sourced love. And for those of you who are fortunate to be able to gather with friends and family, we hope that your gatherings will contain an abundant amount of locally sourced peace, joy, and love.

Light a Candle. Say a Prayer. Breathe.

The Rev. Gary Manning, rector of Trinity Episcopal Church in Wauwatosa, WI wrote many of the daily readings for this year's Living Compass Advent booklet entitled, “Living Love.”    This year we gave away thirteen thousand of these booklets to many Episcopal churches across the country and I have been delighted to hear about all the creative ways in which they are being used. What pleases me most about the feed back we are getting is that it reflects a desire by so many to find space in the midst of this hectic and often stressful time of year to reflect on what matters most in their lives. The title of this column is a quote from one of the readings that Gary Manning wrote for the Advent booklet. Light a candle.  Say a prayer.  Breathe.  I read those words last week, and then two nights ago, on a cold, blustery evening, I had a delightful chance to live into these words.  Perhaps the best part about the experience was that it was a total surprise--I had no idea it was going to happen.  Please allow me to explain.

I arrived at St. Peter's Episcopal Church on Belmont Avenue in the Lakeview neighborhood in the heart of the north side of Chicago a bit early for a program that I was going to be a part of that evening.  Our evening was to include a worship service at 6:30, a simple soup supper at 7:00 and an hour program starting at 7:20.  When I arrived early, the members of the church invited me to enter the hundred year old chapel where the worship was to take place for some time of quiet contemplation.  I received the words “take some time of quiet contemplation” as if I was being offered a cold class of water for my overly busy, parched soul.

I entered the hundred and twenty year old chapel and found it to be almost,  completely dark except for a handful of small lit candles.  I took my place in this historic chapel that seats about twenty-five people and joined the few others were already there.  During the next twenty-five minutes, one by one, another fifteen or so people arrived.  As people came in from the bitterly cold night (the wind chill was well below zero) I noticed that they would each sit down, and proceed to slowly remove their layers of coats, scarves, hats, and gloves--a powerful metaphor for the emotional and spiritual layers that each of us felt comfortable removing in the midst of this warm and welcoming space.

Light a candle.  Say a prayer.  Breathe. I encourage you to do this for yourself, even if it's just for five minutes.   It's amazing what a simple and profound experience it can be.  It can keep us centered and aware of the gift of this season.

I also learned from the good people at St. Peters in Chicago what a gift it can be when someone lights a candle for us and creates a space for us to just be.  Inspired by their example, perhaps each us can think of someone in our lives for whom we can light a candle this time of year and create a space for them to be free to pray and breathe.

It doesn't have to be a literal candle that we light, of course.  We may be able to create a space of light for them by simply reaching out with a phone call, a note, or a visit, and then being truly present to that person when we connect. Lighting a candle might look like taking the time to truly listen to a family member who you will be with during this season or setting aside a grievance and offering a heartfelt hug of forgiveness and reconciliation.  It might just make all the difference to someone who is in an especially cold or dark place this time of year--and to ourselves as well.

Light a candle.  Say a prayer.  Breathe.

What a priceless gift we can both receive and give this time of year.

And if you are ever in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago on a Wednesday evening, be sure to stop in and receive the gift of their gracious hospitality