The Chess Teacher

I learned two very important lessons this week playing chess with a stranger in Washington Square Park in New York City.  I am in New York for several meetings related to Living Compass, including an all-day presentation at General Theological Seminary.   I had some free time one sunny afternoon, and being an avid chess player, I walked over and observe some games being played by locals at Washington Square Park.  The park's chess players are quite famous and have been featured in many movies, most notably Searching for Bobby Fischer.  Playing a game of chess at Washington Park has always been on my bucket list and I'm happy to say it has now been crossed off.  

As I approached the chess tables in the southwest corner of the park, I noticed there were several intense games going on.  Many had several spectators surrounding them and so I excitedly joined in to watch some very high level chess chess, hoping to learn a thing or two.  I walked around for some time, watching several games, when I heard a man call out to me.  He motioned me over and asked if I wanted to sit down and play a game.  I was delighted to do so.  We introduced ourselves and I found out his name was James.

James,  whom I had noticed earlier while I had been observing the other games, had been sitting by himself, surrounded by a few bags of what I assumed were all of his worldly possessions.  He was now at a chess table with all the pieces set up when he invited me be play. He graciously offered the white pieces, which if you know anything about chess, is always an advantage.  I tried to defer, but he would not hear of it.  He said he was a regular at the park and I was obviously a guest, and so as a guest I should play the white pieces.

I'm not proud of this, but I was already making the assumption that I was going to be a much better chess player than James based on his appearance, and so that was why I was trying to let him play white to give him the advantage.  Again, and I'm embarrassed to admit this, I made the assumption that a person living on the streets probably wouldn't be very good at chess. This was the first lesson I learned--even though it's something I seem to have to relearn over and over again--I cannot judge a person by their appearances.  How many times have we all done this, and how many times have we been wrong?  Appearances really tell us so little!

I made my first move with white, and  I immediately realized I had misjudged James.  After I completed my opening move (a Queen's Pawn opening for those of you who are chess players) James looked me in the eye and said, “Now there's one more detail we have to agree on.  I play all my games for $10 a game--winner take all.”  The fact that he said this with a glint in his eye made it clear to me that I was in the presence of a brilliant chess player.  I then continued my opening of the game with the Queen's Gambit, which he chose to accept. He then went on to play a variation of defense that I had never seen before, and I play a lot of chess!  I kept thinking to myself, “this man is a genius,” at the same time I was feeling so embarrassed about how I had prejudged him.

The game went back and forth for a long time.  We traded pieces every step of the way and the game was completely even for the first forty-five minutes.  I was hanging on as best as I could when he made a brilliant move to capture a passed pawn I had on the far left side of the board.  In a close game, the loss of one pawn can be the difference between victory and defeat, and in this case that's exactly what happened.  Ten moves later James checkmated me.

I learned two important lessons during my game at Washington Square Park.  The first, as stated, is to be more aware of the filters I use, consciously or unconsciously, as I make assumptions about others.  They are never helpful and are almost always wrong.  Every one of us is much more complex and much deeper than our simple appearance reveals.  The second lesson I learned is this: always advance a passed pawn as early in the game as you can.  You see, after our game ended, James took the opportunity to teach me this lesson.  He recreated from memory the exact set up of the board when he made the decisive winning move.  He showed me how I should have played the situation and how I could have forced a tie game if I had played it correctly.  The lesson was brilliant.  For a good ten minutes he was my teacher and I was his student. I handed James a twenty dollar bill when I stood up to leave.  He said he wasn't sure he could make change for a twenty.  I said there was no need for change--that ten dollars was for his victory, and the other ten dollars was for the lesson about how to advance a passed pawn correctly.   I refrained from mentioning that the more important lesson he had taught me that day, about judging others, was priceless.

Hunting For Resurrection

Some people are uncomfortable with the fact that many of the current customs and traditions that surround religious holidays seem purely secular, having nothing to do with the true meaning of the religious nature of the holiday being celebrated.  The celebrations that surround most Christian holidays, however, include many traditions whose origins are other than Christian.  As Christians prepare for the celebration of Easter, we once again see the mixture of sacred and secular traditions as bunnies, eggs, and resurrection flow together in the celebrations of most people who celebrate Easter. The mixing together of Christian and non-Christian traditions has never really upset me.  In fact, I embrace this confluence of traditions because I believe that in order for anything to actually become an ongoing tradition, it must in some important way connect to and help amplify the meaning of what is being celebrated.  For me, there is ultimately no separation between the sacred and the secular; that which is sacred is present in every aspect of life no matter what day of the year it is.

Our modern celebration of Easter includes many traditions with non-Christian origins.    One of my favorites is the tradition of Easter eggs which comes from an ancient fertility rite.  Who doesn't enjoy placing a hard boiled egg in a cup of dyed water and watching it almost magically take on the color of the dye?  And for the more adventurous, there is the tradition of egg blowing, whereby an egg is carefully emptied through the careful blowing out of the whites and yolk and then carefully decorated.

Then there is my  favorite tradition of all,  the tradition of the hunting for eggs.  I love Easter egg hunts!  I loved participating in them as a child and I loved creating them every year for our three children.   This Easter tradition, while carried out in many homes, is also celebrated in many churches and community centers  as well,     including the White House which has been hosting one for 135 years.

An Easter egg hunt is a perfect example of how a non-Christian tradition helps illuminate and amplify the truth of what Christians are celebrating on Easter.  Easter egg hunts remind us that sometimes we have to look around and do a little searching to discover the signs of resurrection around us.  Sometimes the signs of resurrection are obvious and easy to find and sometimes they are  more hidden and we have to work a little harder to uncover them.  The Easter egg hunt also shows us that we are better off if we  go looking for resurrection together.  Who ever heard of a solitary Easter egg hunt, of a person looking for eggs alone?  The discovery of resurrection, too, is always more fruitful when experienced in community with others and is a lot more fun that way as well. There is one final truth regarding resurrection that we can also learn from the tradition of the Easter egg hunt.  In order for there to even be an Easter egg hunt, someone has to first make the commitment to place the eggs in their hiding places.  When it comes to resurrection it is God, of course, who has already placed the signs of resurrection in countless places in our world.  Now it is up to us to search for them, and when we discover them, to rejoice  with the same delight as young children do at an Easter egg hunt when they discover the hidden eggs. We at Living Compass wish all of you a most joyous Easter.

What the Pope Election Teaches Us About Making Good Decisions

We all face important decisions in our lives.  Is it time to look for a new job or even a new career?  What school do I want to attend, or what school will be best for our child? Should I move to a new city? Is this the right relationship for me?  Should I begin training for a marathon? Is it time to think about retirement? I'm looking for a way to volunteer and give back to the community, but I'm not sure where to start.  In many ways our identity is simply the product of all the decisions we have made in our lives.  The decisions we make are that important.A group of men gathered in Rome this past week to make an important decision as they were charged with electing a new pope.  While most of the decisions you and I make do not attract a great deal of public attention, this decision-making process captured the attention of the world.  People worldwide were so interested in the making of this decision that there was even a pope app that millions were using to track the election.  Over five thousand journalists from all corners of the globe were gathered at the Vatican, all watching a small chimney, waiting for the white smoke to appear signifying that a decision had been made. I believe we can learn something important about wellness from following the recent election of a new pope.  Wellness is all about making decisions.  Our physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, and vocational wellness is created by all the little and big decisions we make on a daily basis.  As I watched the cardinals gather to make the decision about who the new pope would be, I saw them demonstrate two essential guidelines for making important decisions--decisions that will lead to greater wellness and wholeness. The first guideline for making good decisions that the conclave of cardinals demonstrated for us is that the best decisions are made when they are made in the context of community.  The collective wisdom of a group is always greater than the wisdom of any one individual.  To apply this to our own lives means that when we have an important decision to make we will be wise to create our own “conclave”, our own community of support.  If you are thinking of making a career change, or if you are thinking of downsizing and simplifying your life, reach out and talk to as many people you know who are currently working on a similar decision or who have already worked through a similar decision.  If you are thinking of running your first marathon, you would greatly benefit from talking to everyone you know who has run a marathon or who is currently training for one.  Such conversations will build a community of support for us that will help us make and implement important decisions in our lives. The second decision-making guideline the conclave of cardinals demonstrated for us is that decisions are always best when they emerge from and are congruent with our core values and beliefs. While this may seem obvious in an explicitly religious decision making process such as the election of a pope, this same guideline applies to the important decision in our lives.  We will greatly benefit from first clarifying our core values and beliefs so that we can be sure that the decision we make emerges from and supports those core values and beliefs.  In our Living Compass program we talk about how the compass of our core beliefs and values needs to be the orienting compass for the decisions we make.  All important decision points are opportunities to clarify and strengthen our core values and beliefs. So the next time you have an important decision to make, call your friends and form a community of support.  Lock yourselves in a room with pieces of paper to write on and a wood-burning stove. Talk amongst yourselves, clarify your core beliefs and values, and when you have made your decision, send up a puff of white smoke to let the world know.  While, of course, you and I won't literally gather friends and vote in this way, the guidelines that underlie the process of electing a pope will serve us well in the important decisions we make in our own lives.

Springing Back to Life

In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where I live, we recently received eight inches of wet, heavy snow.  The local radio station referred to this type of snow as “heart attack” snow because of the risk that comes from shoveling such heavy snow.  While I am happy to report that I did not hear of any people suffering a heart attack related to the snowfall, the news was not so good for trees in our area.  I unfortunately heard many reports and saw many photographs of trees whose branches had broken under the weight of the heavy snow.We have many evergreen trees in our yard and so we were especially worried about how the heavy snowfall might damage these trees.  During the storm, my wife and I  slogged our way outside through the snow with brooms in hand to brush and shake off the limbs that were quickly becoming weighted down with the heavy snow.  We found that there was something almost magical about this experience of shaking off the beautiful, but heavy snow.  The magic was not so much to be found in the beauty of the freshly fallen snow, but rather in the joy of “freeing” each snowbound tree branch.  I could almost hear each branch  groaning under the weight of the snow, and then in the instant that the snow was removed, I could imagine the branch shouting, “Thank you” as it sprang back to its natural position. A couple of months ago I was struggling with a new project that I was creating.  I was stuck.  I wasn't sure which direction to go and the longer my indecision went on, the more I began to second guess myself.   Like the trees in my yard this week, I was weighed down and not feeling very resilient.  I was fortunate at that moment to have a couple of close friends and colleagues reach out to me and offer some much needed encouragement, along with some helpful feedback.  It was amazing what a difference their words and gestures made.  It was as if they had come by with their brooms and knocked all the snow off my branches.  Suddenly I was springing back to life, and saying, “Thank you” to my friends. It seems that you and I are a lot like trees in that we, too, can find ourselves overwhelmed and weighed down, especially when life has dumped some heaving things on us.  A recent loss causes a person to feel alone and isolated--but just then a thoughtful call or visit from a friend helps them come back to life.  A child comes home from a bad day at school, obviously burdened by what happened that day.  Fortunately they are welcomed home by a kind, patient parent who creates a safe space for the child to talk about what happened.  After the talk, the child begins to spring back to life.  A person acknowledges his or her wrong-doing and takes full responsibility for hurting someone they love, and suddenly the relationship begins to spring back to life. And to paraphrase what Jesus said: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will brush the snow off your branches.” Who do you know that needs a loving word or gesture from you which could help them shake off what life has dumped on them?  Who do you know that has been through a recent storm and is feeling especially burdened right now?  Are you willing to put on our boots, get out your broom, and do what it takes to help?  I hope so, because there is nothing quite like the magic of helping another living creature--whether it be a person or a tree--spring back to life.

What's Your Story?

Holocaust survivor and human rights activist Elie Wiesel included one of my favorite stories as a preface to his novel, The Gates of the Forest. “When the great Rabbi Israel Baal Shem-Tov saw misfortune threatening the Jews it was his custom to go into a certain part of the forest to meditate. There he would light a fire, say a special prayer, and the miracle would be accomplished and the misfortune averted.

Later, when his disciple, the celebrated Magid of Mezritch, had occasion, for the same reason, to intercede with heaven, he would go to the same place in the forest and say: "Master of the Universe, listen! I do not know how to light the fire, but I am still able to say the prayer," and again the miracle would be accomplished.

Still later, Rabbi Moshe-Leib of Sasov, in order to save his people once more, would go into the forest and say: "I do not know how to light the fire, I do not know the prayer, but I know the place and this must be sufficient." It was sufficient and the miracle was accomplished.

Then it fell to Rabbi Israel of Rizhyn to overcome misfortune. Sitting in his armchair, his head in his hands, he spoke to God: "I am unable to light the fire and I do not know the prayer; I cannot even find the place in the forest. All I can do is to tell the story, and this must be sufficient." And it was sufficient.

God made human beings because God loves stories.”

We are indeed story loving people.  Our identity is formed and shared in and through stories.  Three times in the last few weeks I have met with friends I had not seen for quite a while.  How did we choose to reconnect?  We reconnected by sharing coffee and stories.  We shared stories about what we've been up to since we talked last.  We shared stories about what people we love have been up to as well.  “Tell me one more story” is not just the request of a child who doesn't want to go to sleep, it is the request we all make of one another when we get together.

If you need more evidence of the power of stories in our lives, be sure to watch the Academy Awards this Sunday night.  Movies, which are simply stories brought to life on the big screen, play a powerful role in our culture.  They inspire us and get us talking with one another.  They entertain us and distract us from the stresses of everyday life.  They bring couples, families, and friends together to create a shared experience not just in viewing the movie together, but in discussing and replaying the experience for hours and days after.

In our Living Compass 2013 Lenten Booklet, this week's entry talks about the Academy Awards (which take place this Sunday evening), movies, and our love of stories.  The entry appears below, and the entire booklet can be found at www.livingcompass.org/lent.iml

“The Stories and Scripts of Our Lives”

Religious truths are communicated primarily through stories, with the Bible being the most well known collection of religious stories.  The Bible contains hundreds of stories of Jesus, Paul, Moses, Sarah, Ruth, and countless others.  The stories are there to teach us and to show us how peoples' lives have been transformed by God.  Together, the stories create a narrative, which for we Christians, is the primary narrative that informs and guides our lives. All families, cultures, and religions tell stories to both entertain and to pass on essential truths.  In our modern culture, movies are a dominant form of story telling.  Tonight's annual Academy Awards extravaganza is a reminder of just how important movies are in our culture.  Like stories, movies come in every genre: comedy, historical, religious, drama, family, and mystery to name just a few.  Some movies are simply for entertainment, while others embody and teach important values about character, relationships, and meaning.  While a movie involves many different creative talents, the whole process starts with the writer. Without a writer, without a script, without a story, there would be no movie. While each of us has been formed by the stories of our families, culture, and faith, we have also each been given the freedom to be the scriptwriters of our own lives.  We get to write the stories that define our lives and our relationships.  We get to decide if the relationships between the lead actor or actress, ourselves, and the other cast members will be marked by compassion or conflict.  We get to decide what values and belief systems will influence the choices we make.  We get to create the story line this is our life. So how is the story/movie of your life going these days?  Are you excited or bored by it?  Are you content or frustrated?  Whatever you may be feeling, the good news is that the movie of your life is not finished yet!  The story/movie is still being written. Are you unhappy in an important relationship in your life?  Are you unhappy in your work?  Have you lost a sense of purpose or meaning in your life?  If so, there is time to expand and rewrite your script rather than continue to write a story you are not happy with or that is not fulfilling.  We cannot write a new beginning, but our Christian narrative promises us that we are free to begin writing a new ending today. Our freedom to write and rewrite the scripts and stories of our lives is one of the greatest gifts God has given us.  And remember that the greatest award for a well-written, and well-lived life, is not an Academy Award, but rather the peace and joy--the “right spirit within us”-- that comes to us and our loved ones when we dare to dream and create such a life.