Artisans of the Common Good

My columns for the last two weeks have focused on New Year's resolutions. I hadn't felt a need to write a third one on this topic until I read about a homily that Pope Francis gave on New Year's Eve. A compelling column by David Brooks of the The New York Times brought Pope Francis' homily to my attention and when you have a few minutes I highly recommend you click on this link to read it.

My favorite line from the homily was Francis' call to all of us to be, "artisans of the common good." Imagine what it would mean if in addition to any self-improvement resolutions we set, we each also resolved to be more intentional about our being artisans of the common good, people who give back to our local communities, so community members who live there could benefit in some way.

There is much to be anxious about in the world today. It is sometimes hard to know  what impact, if any, we can have on the larger issues of our day. Pope Francis reminds us that much of the day to day well-being of what does happen in our families, neighborhoods, and communities, is something we can impact. We can, in fact, take more seriously our role as co-creators of the common good in each of these places.

I recently observed a parent support group at a school with more than its share of challenges. I heard first hand from the parents, teachers, and administrators in attendance that their school is exceptional because of the level of involvement by parents and other adult volunteers who are making up for a shortage of staffing due to budget concerns. These parents and other volunteers are clearing acting as artisans of the common good.

I know a high school teacher who regularly recruits teens to commit a full day to collecting litter and clearing trails along in a local river park. I am also inspired by a member of my extended family who lives in the independent living section of a retirement community, and who spends time almost every day making visits to people with dementia and other difficulties in the skilled care section of her community. I know countless people who are active in their faith communities, people who regularly serve those in their surrounding community, as well as taking care of one another in times of need.

I know that I am not alone in worrying about some of the macro-concerns in our world. While I can, and must, do my part to address these larger issues, I also am resolving now to renew my commitment to addressing the micro-concerns I encounter daily, and to becoming more intentional about being an artisan of the common good in my corner of the world.

When It Comes to Wellness, Put Your Whole Self In

Children's songs are some of my favorite music because there is a simplicity and silliness to many children's songs that makes them infectious and fun to sing.  Just reading the words, "If you're happy and you know it..."  probably has you singing along in your head right now, and perhaps even getting ready to clap your hands. There is one children's song, The Hokey Pokey, that has always been my favorite.  I play guitar and I love to sing for both children and elders, and both groups seem to love to sing this song, getting up and moving as able, whenever they hear it.  Of course, we never just sing The Hokey Pokey, we do The Hokey Pokey.  This fun combination of singing and moving is probably why this song is so memorable.

As we all know, The Hokey Pokey begins by inviting us to "put our right hand in," and then to take it out, put it back in, and shake it all about.  After that we are directed to do the Hokey Pokey and then turn ourselves about.  The song progresses from there by inviting us to put our left hand in, and then our right leg and left leg, and then our head, and the favorite verse for children-put our "backside" in. The song builds up to the final verse where we are invited to put, "...our whole selves in."

So what does this children's song have to do with wellness? Whether or not you are the kind of person that makes resolutions, it is natural as we begin a new year, to take stock of our well-being and reflect on any changes that we might want to make. The Hokey Pokey reminds us that as we take stock of our lives, we are wise to not just put part of our selves in, but rather to "put our whole selves in." If we want to make a change, we are wise to look at how all the various dimensions for our wellness are interacting and affecting each other.

Let's say, for example, that a person sets a New Year's resolution to get more sleep because they are chronically tired and keep waking up during the night worrying about things. A wholistic, "putting your whole self in," approach to dealing with this problem would be to look at all dimensions of their wellness-physical, relational, emotional, spiritual, vocational, financial, and social. Observing themselves from all angles helps them to see that multiple factors are most likely contributing to their unwanted sleep pattern. A sleep disturbance could be caused by stress at work, stress in a relationship, underlying physical issues, financial worries, etc. and identifying the source of the problem is the first step towards creating more wellness.

This broader awareness might lead to a multi-pronged strategy, and a need to make changes in several areas of one's life. A more narrow approach would be to simply start taking sleep medication, which may temporarily relieve the symptoms, but will not  address the underlying causes.

Surveys show that most people are not successful in keeping resolutions to change. One reason may be because they are not "putting their whole selves in" and are not addressing the ways in which their various dimensions of wellness are interconnected.

I am not sure if simply doing The Hokey Pokey on a regular basis is, in and of itself, good for one's overall well-being but I am sure, though, that putting "our whole selves in," when resolving to make positive changes that affect our wellness, is what it's all about.

The Why of Change

It's the time of year when people make new year's resolutions. Here, according to Time magazine, is a list of the ten most common resolutions that people have made in recent years:  

1. Lose Weight and Get Fit

2. Quit Smoking

3. Learn Something New

4. Eat Healthier

5. Get Out of Debt and Save Money

6. Spend More Time with Family

7. Travel to New Places

8. Be Less Stressed

9. Volunteer

10. Drink Less

And what would you guess is the success rate for people sticking to their resolutions? The most common figure given is 8%. That's right, on average, 8% of people follow through on their resolutions for six months or longer. Perhaps this is why now 38% of people say that they never make New Year's resolutions.

Whether or not we make resolutions this time of year, we all know that creating sustained and lasting change is difficult. This is as true for individuals as it is for couples, families, and organizations. Our habits and routines become comfortable over time, and so by definition a change in those habits and routines is uncomfortable. The bigger the change we try to make, the greater the discomfort and apparently most like to avoid discomfort.

I believe that one of the reasons that resolutions to change fail (whether at New Year's or any other time) so often is because most resolutions to change focus far too much on the what and not nearly enough on the why. Connecting with the why we want to do something helps us to connect with the deeper emotional or spiritual reasons that we want to grow, which is different from merely making a change.

A parent who wants to change their critical tone with their child will be more likely to make that change if they first reconnect with their love for their child and their deep emotional and spiritual awareness that their child is a gift and worthy of respect. A desire to make a healthy life style change will have a greater chance of succeeding when it is grounded in a higher purpose, such as wanting to have more energy to bring to one's work, service to others, or to share with friends and family. Many people who follow a spiritual path, are wanting to make changes in their lives on an ongoing basis (not just beginning of a new year), ones that more fully align their lives with their spiritual ideals, such as loving their neighbor, caring for the environment, seeking peace and reconciliation in the world, or living with greater kindness and patience toward others. Spirituality focuses on the why of our lives, which in turn gives rise to what, if any, resolutions to change we may wish to make. The question then for all of us is why do we do what we do? Why do we want to work hard to make the changes we desire?

We at Living Compass would like to wish you all a Happy New Year. And if you are thinking about making a change this time of year, we invite you to first take some time to reflect on why you want to make that change. Connecting with the deeper spiritual and emotional reasons you want to change will not only help you clarify what you want to change, but will greatly increase the likelihood that the change will last.

The Wonder of Changing the Way We See

Wonder is a movie that stays with you long after you see it. It is the story of Auggie Pullman (played by 11-year old Jacob Tremblay), a fifth grade boy who has a craniofacial difference due to having been born with Treacher Collins syndrome, a rare genetic disorder. After years of being home schooled by his mother (played by Julia Roberts), his parents make the scary yet brave decision to send Auggie to middle school.  As if going to middle school isn't hard enough for anyone, Auggie and his family know that the potential for other kids to be cruel to him could be more painful than the twenty-seven plastic surgeries he has already endured. I won't share any spoilers here-well, maybe one, which just happens to be my favorite line in the movie. During a pivotal part of the movie, speaking to a student that has been suspended for bullying Auggie, the principal of his school says, "Auggie cannot change the way he looks. But maybe we can change the way we see."  While seeing this movie this past week, this quote helped me to put into words something of the meaning of Christmas. The message of Christmas is that through the birth of Jesus, a radical new understanding of love was born into the messiness of our ordinary lives. And at the heart of this message of love made incarnate is an invitation to change the way we see.

You and I are also confronted with the same choice each day that the middle school classmates of Auggie Pullman had to face in the movie. We can choose to see the world and the people around us through the constricted filter of judgment and of what we think is important, or we can choose to see the world and those around us through the expansive filter of love and what God shows us is important.

"Love came down at Christmas," is a line from a familiar hymn sung this time of year.  As we celebrate that Love, may we allow it to change the way we see, enhancing our capacity to see the wonder that is in each and everyone we encounter.

Going to movies is a holiday tradition for some, and so if Wonder is still showing in your community, give yourself a gift and go and see it.

    Merry Christmas from all of us at Living Compass.

Sharing the Light

I was reminded last night of an important lesson that candles have to teach us. I had the honor to co-facilitate a Living Compass Wellness Circle at Crossroads Presbyterian Church in Mequon, Wisconsin over the last six weeks and last night was our closing session. Each person was invited to share what they had learned during the program and as they did so, they each came forward and lit a votive candle, placing it around a large pillar candle in the center of a table. Some of the participants lit their candles from the central pillar candle while and others lit theirs from the votive candles that were already lit. Each time I observed a person lighting their candle I was reminded of the wisdom that a single candle can light a thousand other candles, and yet doing so never diminishes its own light. While it was not necessarily a new lesson for me, it was good to be reminded of it, especially as we approach the darkest day of the year. It is good to remember that it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness, whatever form that darkness may take.

Candles are an essential part of two religious traditions that are both happening right now. Our Jewish friends began the celebration of Hannukah this week and Christians continue their observance of the season of Advent, preparing for Christmas. The central ritual of Hannukah involves lighting the menorah with its nine candles. The shamash candle, the taller candle in the center, is used to light one additional candle each night of Hannukah, until, over the eight days of Hannukah, all of the candles are lit. Similarly, the observance of Advent includes a wreath with four candles, often placed around a center candle. In each of the four weeks of Advent, an additional candle is lit, often from the center candle as well.

For Jews, the candles of the menorah recall the miracle that occurred when one day's supply of oil lasted eight days during the purification and rededication of the Temple of Jerusalem over two thousand years ago. For Christians, the candles symbolize the light of Christ that came into the world to overcome the powers of darkness. Followers of both faiths commit to not let the light go out, to keep the miracles of light and love burning brightly, sharing it with others whenever possible.

I came across a quote from a rabbi by the name of David Wolpe sometime ago that continues to inspire me. "The shamash is the candle that lights the other candles. Be a shamash." I was reminded me of this just the other day when someone called to thank me for something little I had done that meant a great deal to them. If they had been able to see my face, they would have seen that it was lit up with a big smile. In that moment, with a simple expression of gratitude and kindness, this person was being a shamash.

What opportunities will you have today, this week, this holiday season, to be a shamash? And remember, as you go around being a shamash to others, your own light will never diminish-in fact, you may even find your inner light burning just a little brighter.