F.A.I.L.-A New Mindset
The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative that serves schools, counseling centers, nonprofits, and other community wellness organizations. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site. There is also a Wellness Compass podcast at www.wellnesscompass.org/podcast.
We have been taking Spanish lessons for the last several years. There has been progress occasionally, but more often than not, it has been an ongoing lesson in humility. And as it turns out, this might be the most important lesson of all.
One of the biggest obstacles we have had to overcome is our desire to quickly “get it right.” Just as we begin to feel comfortable with a new milestone we have achieved, we are humbled once again as we take on a new topic. We especially struggle with speaking Spanish, and our teacher always encourages us to become more comfortable with “saying it wrong.” She says there is no other way to learn than to stop being so self-conscious about making mistakes and to try again.
Early in our learning journey, when we felt like we were failing, our teacher encouraged us to think of the word “FAIL” as an acronym for “First Attempt in Learning.” That has helped tremendously. We repeat that acronym often and have learned to apply it to many areas of our lives.
This acronym may be timely for you if you have set resolutions for yourself in the new year. Perhaps you are struggling with feeling that you have already failed, and could benefit from instead thinking of something you have tried to change in the last few weeks as a first attempt in learning.
One thing we all learn when we try to change an old habit or start a new one is that change is almost always more complex than we imagine. This is true for individual changes and changes within relationships, families, and organizations. Our first attempts rarely succeed if we define success as achieving the complete change we desire. If, however, we reframe our first (and second, third, and more) attempts as opportunities to learn, we can keep our momentum to change moving forward.
At the start of the year the two of us set an intention of eating more vegetarian meals. We admittedly have been uneven in our consistency so far. What we have learned, though, is that our default habit is to cook meat-based meals, as we don’t yet have much of a repertoire of vegetarian entries. We have always eaten lots of vegetables as side dishes, but not so much as entries. So, based on what we are learning, we are now collecting and trying some new recipes. We are measuring our progress so far not in terms of success or failure, but as an attempt in learning.
How about you? What first attempts in learning are you experiencing in your life right now?
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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast
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