Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

The word “awesome” has become so ubiquitous that it has nearly lost its meaning. Originally it referred to being “profoundly reverential,” something that inspired deep wonder and mystery. Today it has simply come to mean something that is “impressive or very good.”

If, for no other reason, one benefit of reconnecting with the original meaning of awe is that doing so is good for our health and well-being. This fact was reported in a New York Times article this week about a newly published book, “Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life” by a psychologist named Dr. Dacher Keltner. You can read the article HERE.  

Here’s a quote from the article: “In his book, Dr. Keltner writes that awe is critical to our well-being — just like joy, contentment‌ , and love. His research suggests it has tremendous health benefits that include calming down our nervous system and triggering the release of oxytocin, the “love” hormone that promotes trust and bonding.”

Dr. Keltner believes that our capacity to experience awe is something that can be cultivated. He recommends explicitly four practices: 

1. Pay attention.

2. Focus on the goodness and moral beauty of others.

3. Practice mindfulness.

4. Be willing sometimes to choose the unfamiliar path. 

Our Wellness Compass Model of well-being takes a whole-person approach to wellness that focuses on eight interconnecting dimensions of well-being. One of those eight areas is Spirituality, an area of wellness that includes the capacity to both experience and express awe. 

As with each of the eight areas of our Wellness Compass, spirituality is not something we simply have or don’t have. It is something that can be nurtured and strengthened, be it in a religious sense or not. Adopting a regular spiritual practice that connects us with a higher and transcendent dimension of life will strengthen the spiritual dimension of our lives.

We are grateful for the affirming research and suggestions Dr. Keltner offers in his new book that supports this idea. We also appreciate his practical ideas for deepening our spirituality and our capacity to experience awe.

Making It Personal:

1. When was the last time you experienced a profound sense of awe? What did you experience?

2. What do you think about the idea that experiencing awe can be cultivated? 

3. What connection do you see or feel between spirituality, awe, and your overall well-being?  

4. As the new year begins, is there anything you to kindle or rekindle the spiritual dimension of your life?

(Today’s column is the first in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the connection between spirituality and well-being. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Changing From the Inside Out

Changing From the Inside Out

Have  you ever said, "yes" to doing something for the wrong reason? Maybe it was peer pressure, or thinking you should say "yes," or because you didn't want to disappoint someone, or even that you didn't really think through your decision before responding.

In our experience, this is what happens with many people who make New Year's resolutions. They say, “yes" to making a change for the wrong reason. Maybe they say, "yes" because it's what they think someone is supposed to do at this time of year. Or because others are encouraging them to make a resolution and you don't want to disappoint them.  Or even because they are worried about coming across as a person who isn't willing to commit to growth and self-improvement.  

In these scenarios, what is happening is that a person is making a decision from the "outside in." They are responding to an external prompt to do something rather than an internal prompt. Studies have shown that when any commitment to change, such as a a New Year's resolution, is made from the “outside in," it has a minimal chance of happening.

So our advice is that if you want to make a resolution to change—at the beginning of a new year or at any time—you do it from the "inside, out." This involves first deeply listening to what whispers you are getting from your life. Listen to your heart. Listen to your body. Listen to your spirit.

Our lives are always speaking to us, but we are not always listening. What is your life saying to you right now, and based on that, is there a change you want to work to make? Creating a resolution, something you feel strongly will create greater wellness in your life, to change from the "inside, out,” will give you a much better chance of making and sustaining the change.You are making a particular change because you genuinely want to make it, and not because you think you “should," or not because you are trying to please someone else.

Tens of thousands of people have visited https://www.wellnesscompass.org/assessments  to take our online self-assessments (adult, parent and teen versions) because they find them to be an effective tool to help them listen to their lives from the “inside out." We share them with you in the hopes that  you might find it helpful, too.

We wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy New Year.

Making It Personal:

1. What do you think of the value of creating change from the "outside in" vs. the “inside out?”

2. What helps you listen to your life, helping to revealany possible changes you want to make?

3. Is there an intention or resolution that you are considering right now?  What might your first step be in making that change?

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the idea that change is an “inside job.” You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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A Conspiracy of Love

A Conspiracy of Love

Last week we wrote about lessons we learned from attending a holiday concert performed by the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra and their chorus. This week, we attended a very different kind of holiday concert. This one was performed by our grandson and his third-grade classmates, and it, too, was spectacular in its own innocent way.

It’s hard to say who was smiling more at the concert—the children or their families. After each song, we noticed something very special. We saw the parents making a heart shape with their hands and then moving their hands from their hearts toward their children, sending them all the love their hearts were filled with at that moment. What we witnessed was the essence of this quote from Hamilton Wright Mabie, “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”

And now it’s our turn to do the same with all of you. As we write this final column of the year, we hold our hands over our hearts and send each of you love and good wishes for the holidays. However you celebrate, may you be blessed by and participate in a “conspiracy of love.”

We look forward to continuing to walk this journey of wholeness and wellness with you in the new year.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, which is a little shorter at about 9 minutes, they expand on “a conspiracy of love.” You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app, and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Tuning Our Instruments First

Tuning Our Instruments First

We could have titled this column “Three Lessons We Learned From Attending a Holiday Pops Concert” as we had the joy of attending such a concert with some dear friends this past weekend. Here are a few lessons we took from the show that might be helpful reminders to all of us during this holiday season.

Tune your instrument first. 

When the concertmaster (principal violinist) walked on stage, before she played a single note, she paused and spent time getting every one of the musicians in the symphony to tune their instruments. She did the same thing when the musicians came back after intermission. We also noticed that many of the musicians were making minor refinements to their tuning after almost every song. 

Some of us may be spending more time than usual with others during the holidays. Of course, we realize this is only true for some, as others will undoubtedly be alone or away from family and friends. Either way, if we are spending time with others, or are on our own, it’s an excellent reminder to take time to “tune” our emotional and spiritual well-being. Take some time for yourself so you can be positively present to what or who comes your way. If we have taken care of ourselves and are “in tune,” so to speak, we will be well prepared to make better sounding music in our interaction with others. 

Be in the present moment. 

As is the custom with any concert or theater show, an announcement was made at the beginning to silence all cell phones. What a great reminder that we need to be intentional about turning off potential distractions that could block our ability to be fully present in the moment we are experiencing. It took us a few songs to settle in and be fully present to the experience being offered, and once we did, we became fully immersed in the moment and the music and lost all sense of time in the process. For one song, the audience was invited to sing along; for a few minutes, we had almost 1,000 people singing and playing music together. It was indeed a magical moment. And then it was over. And then it was a memory. The same will be true of our holidays. In a few short days, they, too, will be a memory, a reason to concentrate on being in the present moment and all the wonders it has to offer.

The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. 

The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra was joined by the Milwaukee Symphony Chorus at this concert, making a group of close to 150 musicians. Each musician was highly talented, and yet it was the overall effect of the harmonies and diversity of instruments and voices that created the essence of what everyone joyfully experienced. This helps us remember that none of us are responsible for making all of the “music.” We each have a part to play in making the holidays special, a vital role actually, but the true joy is found in honoring and welcoming what each person has uniquely to offer.  

So there you have it -with a special thanks to the Milwaukee Symphony and Chorus- three lessons we learned from attending a holiday pops concert. We share them in hopes that they inspire you to tune your instrument regularly, seek to be fully present in the moment, and remember that the whole is always greater than the sum of the parts. 

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on these three lessons. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app, and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Self-Compassion and Grief

Self-Compassion and Grief

Holidays are a natural time for reminiscing, a time when we fondly remember people and traditions that are no longer a part of our lives. And it is only natural to feel both the joy and sadness of such memories. When we listen closely to others this time of year, it is not uncommon to hear at least a story about a loss they are experiencing and feeling. We might also know someone facing their first holiday after a significant loss or transition.

At our best, when someone shares their grief with us, we hopefully extend a compassionate ear and heart to them. We pause and try to offer them the best holiday gift we can give—the gift of our full and undivided presence. Our offering of compassion will ease their pain for a bit, and they will be grateful for having received the gift of our caring attention.

Now imagine that the person experiencing a loss or transition you encounter is yourself. Are you able to offer yourself the same gift of compassion as readily as you are able to show it to someone else? If not, what do you offer yourself instead? Self-criticism? Distraction? Impatience?

Self-compassion is one of the foundations of well-being and is especially important when we are experiencing the vulnerability of loss. Offering self-compassion to yourself might be a wonderful gift for even you this year. It's worth noting, too, that there is usually a connection between our capacity to offer compassion to ourselves, and our ability to show it to others.  

Here are a few suggestions of how you can care for yourself if or when you find yourself feeling grief during the holidays. 

Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps this is the year you can let go of some of your usual expectations or traditions, so things are simpler and less stressful. 

Take time to rest—being sure to get enough sleep and not to distract yourself with busyness. 

Make intentional time to nurture your spirituality through reading, meditation, prayer, or participating in a faith community's offerings. 

Choose to spend time with people who "get" what you are experiencing and minimize time with people who might be uncomfortable with your feelings. 

These are just a few suggestions. One of the premises in all of our Wellness Compass resources is that when we take the time to slow down enough and truly listen to what our hearts and souls and minds are telling us, we will know what we need to do to care for ourselves.

Compassion is truly one of the greatest gifts we can give this holiday season, to others and ourselves. 

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on grief and self-compassion. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app, and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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